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Some people believe that government wastes too much money on space exploration and research while there are still many problems on earth. To what extent do yo agree or disagree with the view. v.1

Some people believe that government wastes too much money on space exploration and research while there are still many problems on earth. v. 1
An increasing number of teens now possess a mobile phone. The main advantage of this is that it allows teenagers to stay in touch with their families and the main drawback is they waste too much time using apps. This essay will argue that overall this is a negative development. Smart mobile devices enable parents to keep track of their children and this keeps them safe. That is to say that young people can send their parents an email or call to let them know where they are. Even if the child is devious and tells their parents a lie, there are apps that can tell the adults exactly where they are. For example, the app KidCheck uses GPS to tell guardians. Where their loved ones are at all times, thus enabling them to find their young one quickly in an emergency. However, having an iPhone or Android phone can also lead to screen addiction. The main issue is that teenagers spend too much time staring at a screen instead of actually interacting with other people or studying. This is a problem because most apps do not teach teenagers anything useful, but instead encourage them to passively consume useless information. For instance, social networking apps like SnapChat or Facebook, have mostly gossip about them and are a complete waste of time compared to reading a book or having a real conversation. This essay, therefore, believes that smart phones are dangerous and teenagers should be discouraged from using them. In conclusion, although mobiles allow parents to keep tabs on teenagers, this does not overcome the fact that teens are wasting too many hours looking at a display when they should be living their life.
An increasing number of teens
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
possess a mobile phone. The main advantage of this is that it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
to stay in touch with their families and the main drawback is they waste too much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
using apps. This essay will argue that
overall
this is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development.

Smart mobile devices enable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
of their children and this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
them safe.
That is
to say that young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
an email or call to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
them know where they are. Even if the child is devious and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tells
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
a lie, there are apps that can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
the adults exactly where they are.
For example
, the app
Possible spelling mistake found.
KidCheck
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
GPS to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
guardians. Where their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones are at all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
,
thus
enabling them to find their young one
quickly
in an emergency.
However
, having an iPhone or Android phone can
also
lead to screen addiction.

The main issue is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
spend too much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
staring at a screen
instead
of actually interacting with other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
or studying. This is a problem
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
most apps do not teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
anything useful,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
instead
encourage them to
passively
consume useless information.
For instance
, social networking apps like
Possible spelling mistake found.
SnapChat
or Facebook, have
mostly
gossip about them and are a complete waste of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
compared to reading a book or having a real conversation. This essay,
therefore
, believes that smart phones are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
should
be discouraged
from using them.

In conclusion
, although mobiles
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
tabs on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
, this does not overcome the fact that teens are wasting too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
hours looking at a display when they should be living their life.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
The limits of my language mean the limits of my world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay Some people believe that government wastes too much money on space exploration and research while there are still many problems on earth. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
283 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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