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Some people believe that government spends too much money on space research while there are still a lot of problems on the earth. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.1

Some people believe that government spends too much money on space research while there are still a lot of problems on the earth. with this opinion? v. 1
The spaces have become one of the most interesting things that people are doing their research for. Not only the organisations who look for it, but also the government. So, in this essay I agree that governments are spending too much money on their research than reduce the problems in the earth. To begin with, our environments are having so many problems that occur because of the climate change or the other problems. Firstly, most of the governments are not considering about the environment because they never see or think what is happening around in the environment or the way to reduce the problems, but instead they are looking for a new planet in the spaces. For instance, the recent problems that occurs are the smoke that cause by the deforestation. The government doesn't take any action to stop it, they even just neglect the fact that they need to stop the fire to reduce the smoke, but, the politic has always invested money for the organisation that search for a new planet. Secondly, every person has paid for their public tax to the government in the need to improve their environment, for instance, plant some new trees around the street, or make a park for them, but the ministry misses used the money for exploration on the new globe. They do it because they have known that our world cannot stand for more than 100 years later, so they use the check to look for a new planet where people can live. But, actually, we can make our earth stand for more than 100 years by giving a good care of our surroundings. In conclusion, the governments are spending too much cash in the investigation even though actually they can reduce the outcome by giving earth a care, such as reduce the global warming so our world can stand for hundreds years to go without thinking to move to the other globe.
The spaces have become one of the most interesting things that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are doing their research for. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
who look for it,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, in this essay I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
are spending too much money on their research than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
in the earth.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environments
are having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
that occur
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
or the other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
.
Firstly
, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
are not
Did you mean simply "considering the"? You do not need the word "about" here.
considering about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
what is happening around in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
or the way to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
instead
they are looking for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
planet in the spaces.
For instance
, the recent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
that occurs are the smoke that cause by the deforestation. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
doesn't take any action to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
it, they even
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
neglect the fact that they need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
the fire to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reduce
the smoke,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
, the politic has always invested money for the
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
that search for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
planet.

Secondly
, every person has paid for their public tax to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
in the need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
,
for instance
, plant
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
trees around the street, or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a park for them,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the ministry misses
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
the money for exploration on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
globe. They do it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have known that our world cannot stand for more than 100 years later,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
to look for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
planet where
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, actually, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
our earth stand for more than 100 years by giving a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
care of our surroundings.

In conclusion
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
are spending too much cash in the investigation
even though
actually they can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reduce
the outcome by giving earth a care, such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reduce
the global warming
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
our world can stand for hundreds years to go without thinking to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to the other globe.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
A special kind of beauty exists which is born in language, of language, and for language.
Gaston Bachelard

IELTS essay Some people believe that government spends too much money on space research while there are still a lot of problems on the earth. with this opinion? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
323 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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