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Some people believe that government should spend money on new building rather than renovating existing building To what extent do you agree or disagree v.1

Some people believe that government should spend money on new building rather than renovating existing building v. 1
Government spending has always been a debatable issue especially with the constructions. While the government spends their money for constructing new buildings can result in various advantages such as population emigration and local city activation, renovating existing buildings can be beneficial financially. In my perspective, while I understand that the constructing of new buildings can provide various important facilities that can encourage people to move between cities, renovating buildings can be financially saved and which money can be used for the better communities. To begin with, construction of new buildings produces economy to grow. The possibility of withdrawing people from outer cities to inner modernized cities can lead to economic enhancement due to enjoy the modern and cleaner look of cities. With the cleaner environments, people can enjoy more of atmosphere and they can feel more attached to the areas. Since more people are coming into this newer area, the more economic growth can be expected and this will become a metropolitan area. Thus, it can help to an economic growth. In contrast, the economic growth can also be achieved by renovating the existing buildings. A renovation will be cheaper than constructing for the newer buildings and which saved money can be used to construct public facilities for their entertainment and relaxation reasons. For example, constructing fees for the government to develop a city, in case of Perth, budgeted for more than $30 billion to design Perth city to be having a modernized look. However, in the case of Melbourne city, they renovated their cities every year because of wear and tear; the money saved from the unnecessary constructions can be used to improve public health systems. From these two cities comparisons, we can conclude that the governmental budgets can be used to renovate so that other public benefits can be entitled. In conclusion, the budgeted money from the government to be used on creating new buildings in the areas can have short term attractiveness from the public despite the financial issues. Therefore, the amount of money spent on newer buildings and renovation should be monitored and watched closely to prevent any impulsive spending.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
spending has always been a debatable issue
especially
with the constructions. While the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
spends their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
constructing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
can result in various advantages such as population emigration and local city activation, renovating existing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
can be beneficial
financially
. In my perspective, while I understand that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
constructing
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
can provide various
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
facilities that can encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
, renovating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
can be
financially
saved and which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for the better communities.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, construction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
produces economy to grow. The possibility of withdrawing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from outer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
to inner modernized
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
can lead to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
enhancement due to enjoy the modern and cleaner look of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. With the cleaner environments,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can enjoy more of
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
atmosphere and
they can feel more attached to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
. Since more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are coming into this newer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
, the more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
growth can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
and this will become a metropolitan
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
.
Thus
, it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
growth.

In contrast
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
growth can
also
be achieved
by renovating the existing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
. A renovation will be cheaper than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
constructing
for the newer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
and which saved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to construct
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
facilities for their entertainment and relaxation reasons.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
constructing
fees for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
to develop a city, in case of Perth, budgeted for more than $30 billion to design Perth city to be having a modernized look.
However
, in the case of Melbourne city, they renovated their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
every year
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of wear and tear; the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
saved from the unnecessary constructions can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
health systems. From these two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
comparisons, we can conclude that the governmental budgets can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to renovate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
benefits can
be entitled
.

In conclusion
, the budgeted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
on creating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
can have short term attractiveness from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
despite the financial issues.
Therefore
, the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
spent on newer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
and renovation should
be monitored
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
closely
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
any impulsive spending.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
49Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that government should spend money on new building rather than renovating existing building v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
354 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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