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If a product is sold and people buy it then advertising is not necessary and can be considered a kind of entertainment Do you agree or disagree with this v.9

If a product is sold and people buy it then advertising is not necessary and can be considered a kind of entertainment with this v. 9
When marketing and sales of a product is continual, even booming, it is thought that the necessity of advertisement is pointless and can be perceived as a sort of entertainment. However, in my opinion, advertisement has a significant role in business by securing the existing customers and ensuring trust and brand value of the product or the company involved. While some products are bought and sold at a continual rate for some time, there is a high risk of losing customers because of the high competition in the market. Recent studies show that many companies lose existing customers, thus incurring huge loss for them. Even the products which enjoy monopoly with few or no competition, faces the same consequences because of the huge abundance of products in the market. Advertisements ensure trust and brand value of the existing product thus securing its place in the market. For instance Pepsi was dominating the market for many years until other soft-drink products such as Coca-Cola took a large share of its market. In addition, the smart-phone industry has ever-changing upgrades every week, thus launching new products every month which, spread by advertisements becomes very informative for the consumers. Advertisements also spread information about similar type of products, thus helping the society and the consumers aware of the best available products in the market and their new features. For instance, the Samsung mobile phones recently launched dual-camera smartphones in competition to the Vivo smartphones at lower cost, thus spreading the relevant information to the buyers. To conclude, advertisements plays a pivotal role in securing its customers, continual sales of product apart from spreading necessary information to the buyers. While it may seem to be a form of entertainment to some people, however, it has wider implications towards the society and business.
When marketing and sales of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
is continual, even booming, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that the necessity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
is pointless and can
be perceived
as a sort of entertainment.
However
, in my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
has a significant role in business by securing the existing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
and ensuring trust and brand value of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
or the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
involved.

While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
and sold at a continual rate for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time, there is a high
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of losing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the high competition in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
. Recent studies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
lose existing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
thus
incurring huge loss for them. Even the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
which enjoy monopoly with few or no competition, faces the same consequences
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the huge abundance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Advertisements
ensure trust and brand value of the existing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
thus
securing its place in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
.
For instance
Pepsi was dominating the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years until other soft-drink
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
such as Coca-Cola took a large share of its market.

In addition
, the smart-phone industry has ever-changing upgrades every week,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
thus
launching new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
every month which, spread by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
becomes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
informative for the consumers.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Advertisements
also
spread information about similar type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
thus
helping the society and the consumers aware of the best available
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
and their new features.
For instance
, the Samsung mobile phones recently launched dual-camera smartphones in competition to the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Vivo
smartphones at lower cost,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
thus
spreading the relevant information to the buyers.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
plays a pivotal role in securing its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
, continual sales of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
apart from spreading necessary information to the buyers. While it may seem to be a form of entertainment to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
however
, it has wider implications towards the society and business.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
31Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay If a product is sold and people buy it then advertising is not necessary and can be considered a kind of entertainment with this v. 9

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
298 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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