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Maintaining public libraries is a waste of money since there is computer technology. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.3

Maintaining public libraries is a waste of money since there is computer technology. v. 3
Some people argued that computer technology are more and more developing so investing budget in maintain public libraries is not necessary. While I agree that computer plays an essential role in human’s life, I am more convinced that public libraries should be maintained. I accept that there are several reasons why computer technology is highly benefits for human. Firstly, people could easy to access information by computer or laptop. With a computer connected to the internet, readers could find any free books or information in few minutes. They would not waste time to find out a book which they need on selves. Another reason is that people who keen on reading books also save their budget by reading books on the internet by their computer. Instead of an enormous amount of money devoted to buying books, they could invest in other demands such as clothes or domestic shopping. However, I am firmly of the opinion that public libraries should be maintained for some reasons below. One of the most significant reasons is that it is the place which people could relieve stress after a long week study or work hard. This is because the atmosphere at almost all libraries also quite so readers could enjoy their books without bothering about engine or traffic noise. By this way, they also practice concentrating ability which is extremely important with people work white – collar jobs. In conclusion, while I believed that computer technology brings about positive impacts on readers, I am more convinced that public libraries should be maintained.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argued that computer technology are more and more developing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
investing budget in maintain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
libraries is not necessary. While I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that computer plays an essential role in human’s life, I am more convinced that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
libraries should
be maintained
.

I accept that there are several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
why computer technology is
highly
benefits for human.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could easy to access information by computer or laptop. With a computer connected to the internet, readers could find any free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
or information in few minutes. They would not waste time to find out a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
which they need on selves. Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who keen on reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
also
save their budget by reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
on the internet by their computer.
Instead
of an enormous amount of money devoted to buying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
, they could invest in other demands such as clothes or domestic shopping.

However
, I am
firmly
of the opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
libraries should
be maintained
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
below. One of the most significant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
is that it is the place which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could relieve
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
after a long week study or work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the atmosphere at almost all libraries
also
quite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
readers could enjoy their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
without bothering about engine or traffic noise. By this way, they
also
practice concentrating ability which is
extremely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
work white
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
collar jobs.

In conclusion
, while I believed that computer technology brings about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impacts on readers, I am more convinced that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
libraries should
be maintained
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
He who knows no foreign languages know nothing of his own.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

IELTS essay Maintaining public libraries is a waste of money since there is computer technology. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
257 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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