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Some people believe that government should spend money on faster public transportation, while others think that there are other more important priorities such as heath care and the environment. Discuss both views and give your opinion? v.1

Some people believe that government should spend money on faster public transportation, while others think that there are other more important priorities such as heath care and the environment. v. 1
When discussing whether government funds should be directed towards faster public transportation, one should bear in mind the complexity of the issue. Some believe that investing in a better public transportation will decrease traffic jams, and reduce car accidents. Others, in including myself, think that strengthening the local health system, due to the rapid increase in comorbid diseases, is much more important. In the following essay, I will provide arguments and examples to support both views, as well my opinion. Over the last two decades, due to the rapid increase in private cars, Traffic jams have become a major problem in many countries. As a result, people are forced to spend more time driving, leading to increased in car accidents, as well as a decrease in the amount of working hour. In order to fight this growing problem, many countries are investing in fater and more environmetally friendly ways of public transportations, like electric trains, subways, and buses. These, might reduce the amount of cars used in cities, leading to less traffic jams, and pollution. This change have been implement in New York city and led to an average decrease of 30 minutes in driving time among the people who drive to work. Despite the above mentioned, other people, including myself, believe that other urgent ares should be funded instead of public transportation, like the health system. Due to the recent medical developmnets, people nowadays live longer with chronic illnesses, such as diabetes and obesity. This lead to greater demand on the local health systems, and growing needs for physicians, nurses and medical supply. Furthermore, in my opinion providing a sick men with the best medical care possible, outweigh the need for a faster train. In conclusion, funding public transportation, in order to reduce traffic jams is important. Despite that, I believe that improving our health system, by increasing the amount of nurses and doctors is superior.
When discussing whether
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
funds should
be directed
towards faster
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
, one should bear in mind the complexity of the issue.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
believe that investing in a better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
will decrease
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
jams, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
accidents. Others, in including myself,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that strengthening the local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
, due to the rapid increase in
Possible spelling mistake found.
comorbid
diseases, is much more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
. In the following essay, I will provide arguments and examples to support both views,
as well
my opinion.

Over the last two decades, due to the rapid increase in private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Traffic
jams have become a major problem in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are forced
to spend more time driving, leading to increased in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
accidents,
as well
as a decrease in the amount of working hour. In order to fight this growing problem,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries are investing in
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "fatter", the comparative form of the adjective 'fat'?
fater
and more
Possible spelling mistake found.
environmetally
friendly ways of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportations
, like electric trains, subways, and buses. These, might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in cities, leading to less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
jams, and pollution. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
have been implement in
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
New York city
and led to an average decrease of 30 minutes in driving time among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who drive to work.

Despite the above mentioned, other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, including myself, believe that other urgent ares should
be funded
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
, like the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
. Due to the recent medical
Possible spelling mistake found.
developmnets
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
nowadays
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
longer with chronic illnesses, such as diabetes and obesity. This lead to greater demand on the local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
systems
, and growing needs for physicians, nurses and medical supply.
Furthermore
, in my opinion providing a sick
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "man"?
men
with the best medical care possible, outweigh the need for a faster train.

In conclusion
, funding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
, in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
jams is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
. Despite that, I believe that improving our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
, by increasing the amount of nurses and doctors is superior.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
30Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that government should spend money on faster public transportation, while others think that there are other more important priorities such as heath care and the environment. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
317 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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