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Some people say the government should give health care the first priorities some others believe there are more important priorities to spend the taxpayers money Discuss both views and give your own opinion v.2

Some people say the government should give health care the first priorities some others believe there are more important priorities to spend the taxpayers money 2
How governments should use the tax revenue appropriately is always a heated topic among the public. Some people state that the healthcare services should be the primary priority on using this money while others are holding opposite opinions. This essay will argue the possible effect on both sides and give my personal idea in the end. On the one hand, healthcare services are playing an important role in current society. To begin with, the most important matter that people care about is their health. For instance, a healthy and balanced diet lifestyle is adopted by more and more people such as less meat and more vegetable intake. Additionally, regular checkup and physical activities are taken as a part of people’s daily life that is a widespread common phenomenon around the world. Finally, folks will benefit from this state pension which if more money are spent on the healthcare services. Governments could use this capital to invest in medicine researches in some particular diseases such as cancer and give these medicines to citizens for free after successful. On the other hand, some people argue that the tax revenue should be used in some more significant areas. Education is frequently mentioned by many people that they believe the government should distribute the educational resources more balanced, especially in some remote areas. Furthermore, increasing traffic congestion is a salient issue in modern society. In other words, the government should use more public money in transportation construction and run an efficient transport system in order to reduce traffic. In conclusion, this essay argued the different opinions with several factors as possible reasons. From my point of view, I believe that the most important thing is how governments to balance and operate all of these areas because health, education or transport are necessary for our daily lives.
How
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the tax revenue
appropriately
is always a heated topic among the public.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
state that the healthcare services should be the primary priority on using this money while others are holding opposite opinions. This essay will argue the possible effect on both sides and give my personal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
.

On the one hand, healthcare services are playing an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
society. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
matter that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
care about is their health.
For instance
, a healthy and balanced diet lifestyle
is adopted
by more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
such as less meat and more vegetable intake.
Additionally
, regular checkup and physical activities
are taken
as a part of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
daily life
that is
a widespread common phenomenon around the world.
Finally
, folks will benefit from this state pension which
Did you mean "is"?
if
more money
are spent
on the healthcare services.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Governments
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
this capital to invest in medicine researches in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
particular diseases such as cancer and give these medicines to citizens for free after successful.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that the tax revenue should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
more significant areas. Education is
frequently
mentioned by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that they believe the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should distribute the educational resources more balanced,
especially
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
remote areas.
Furthermore
, increasing traffic congestion is a salient issue in modern society.
In other words
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
more public money in transportation construction and run an efficient transport system in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
traffic.

In conclusion
, this essay argued the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
opinions with several factors as possible reasons. From my point of view, I believe that the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
thing is how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
to balance and operate all of these areas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
health, education or transport are necessary for our daily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
11Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say the government should give health care the first priorities some others believe there are more important priorities to spend the taxpayers money 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
302 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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