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Some people say the government should give health care the first priorities some others believe there are more important priorities to spend the taxpayers money Discuss both views and give your own opinion v.1

Some people say the government should give health care the first priorities some others believe there are more important priorities to spend the taxpayers money 1
Global warming has long been recognized as a serious problem by most climate scientists. Governments around the world have begun to take the necessary measures to address it. However, as our understanding of the scale and nature of the problem is still developing, efforts to tackle global warming need to be reassessed from time to time. Recent evidence suggests that some risk factors associated with climate change may have been overstated. Sea levels are now expected to rise by approximately one metre, not two metres, as previously thought. This is because some glaciers and ice sheets appear to be contracting, the Arctic, for example, while others, such as the Antarctic, appear to be expanding. Also, it is now thought that the Gulf Stream is unlikely to vanish. It may, therefore, be possible to scale back plans for flood defences in coastal areas. On the other hand, there is also evidence that some of the consequences of climate change may have been understated. Tropical forests are now believed to be more vulnerable to drought. Hurricanes and typhoons may become more severe. Greater efforts should be made to protect vulnerable populations, especially in tropical areas. Buildings in storm-prone areas may also need to be re-designed to withstand high winds. These recommendations address the symptoms of global warming, not the root cause: the generation of greenhouse gases. Whatever the precise scale and nature of the consequences of global warming, they are all undesirable. Clearly, more needs to be done to reduce the burning of fossil fuels. Stricter emissions targets should be set and use of alternative sources of energy encouraged. It would be profoundly irresponsible to do nothing about the causes of global warming.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
warming
has long
been recognized
as a serious problem by most climate scientists.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Governments
around the world have begun to take the necessary measures to address it.
However
, as our understanding of the scale and nature of the problem is
still
developing, efforts to tackle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
warming
need to
be reassessed
from time to time.

Recent evidence suggests that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
factors associated with climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
may have
been overstated
. Sea levels are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to rise by approximately one
Possible spelling mistake. 'metre' is British English.
metre
, not two
Possible spelling mistake. 'metres' is British English.
metres
, as previously
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
glaciers and ice sheets appear to be contracting, the Arctic,
for example
, while others, such as the Antarctic, appear to be expanding.
Also
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that the Gulf Stream is unlikely to vanish. It may,
therefore
, be possible to scale back plans for flood
Possible spelling mistake. 'defences' is British English.
defences
in coastal areas.

On the other hand
, there is
also
evidence that
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
consequences of climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
may have
been understated
. Tropical forests are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
believed to be more vulnerable to drought. Hurricanes and typhoons may become more severe. Greater efforts should
be made
to protect vulnerable populations,
especially
in tropical areas. Buildings in storm-prone areas may
also
need to be re-designed to withstand high winds.

These recommendations address the symptoms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
warming
, not the root cause: the generation of greenhouse gases. Whatever the precise scale and nature of the consequences of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
warming
, they are all undesirable.
Clearly
, more needs to
be done
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the burning of fossil fuels. Stricter emissions targets should
be set
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of alternative sources of energy encouraged. It would be
profoundly
irresponsible to do nothing about the causes of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
warming
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say the government should give health care the first priorities some others believe there are more important priorities to spend the taxpayers money 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
281 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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