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Some psychologists think that the best way to overcome stress of everyday life is to spend a portion of the day doing absolutely nothing. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

Some psychologists think that the best way to overcome stress of everyday life is to spend a portion of the day doing absolutely nothing. v. 1
It is true that relieving stress and pressure by hanging around doing nothing a portion of the day is regarded as the best way by some mental experts. However, while I believe that doing something amusing to unwind in daily life is efficient, I also believe that spending a part of the day on doing exactly nothing is more useful to eliminate anxiety after such a hectic day. Undoubtedly, the more amusement people get, the more cheerful they are - which helps relieve stress. Majority of people enjoy music, TV programs, movies, and sports - which makes them relaxed and reenergized again when they were frustrated, because these amusements are positive exits or keys to eliminating fatigue and tension. However, sometimes TV shows and soothing music just distract us from the stress. In my opinion, leaving ourselves alone without doing anything not only makes us more loose but also helps us concentrate on making crucial decisions. For instance, after being in states of chaos during the whole day, the first thought, the majority of the time, is letting it go and vegging out because such reaction makes them more comfortable. It is also a catch-22 situation, where people always desire to give themselves some room to calm down and space out for the reason that no one can provide the exact solutions which merely they can answer. In conclusion, the action for us to relax ourselves by doing exactly nothing in our spare time is still very significant and it will continue to be more effective in facing dilemmas because no other method, compared to silence and inactivity, can let our mind and brain rest.
It is true that relieving
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and pressure by hanging around
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
nothing a portion of the day
is regarded
as the best way by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
mental experts.
However
, while I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
something amusing to unwind in daily life is efficient, I
also
believe that spending a part of the day on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
exactly nothing is more useful to eliminate anxiety after such a hectic day.

Undoubtedly
, the more amusement
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
, the more cheerful they are
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
relieve
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
. Majority of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
enjoy music, TV programs, movies, and sports
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them relaxed and
Possible spelling mistake found.
reenergized
again when they
were frustrated
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
these amusements are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
exits or keys to eliminating fatigue and tension.
However
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
TV
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
and soothing music
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
distract us from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
.

In my opinion, leaving ourselves alone without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
anything not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
us more loose
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
us concentrate on making crucial decisions.
For instance
, after being in states of chaos during the whole day, the
first
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
, the majority of the time, is letting it go and vegging out
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
such reaction
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them more comfortable. It is
also
a catch-22 situation, where
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
always desire to give themselves
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
room to calm down and space out for the reason that no one can provide the exact solutions which
merely
they can answer.

In conclusion
, the action for us to relax ourselves by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
exactly nothing in our spare time is
still
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
significant and it will continue to be more effective in facing dilemmas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
no other method, compared to silence and inactivity, can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
our mind and brain rest.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Some psychologists think that the best way to overcome stress of everyday life is to spend a portion of the day doing absolutely nothing. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
275 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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