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Some people believe that environmental problems can be solved by increasing the cost of fuel for cars and other vehicles. To what extent do you agree or disagree v.1

Some people believe that environmental problems can be solved by increasing the cost of fuel for cars and other vehicles. v. 1
Environmental problem has become a major issue in both developed and undeveloped countries. Some individuals share the view that this problems can be reduced by raising the cost of petrol for cars and other vehicles. I strongly agree with this view because this would result in less cars on the road leading to less environmental hazards such as smoke inhalation and also lead to increase economy. Uplifting the cost of fuel for cars to reduce environmental problems would be a means to an end. In other words, this act will reduce the amount of individuals who can afford petroleum thereby reducing the number of cars on the road, thus reducing air pollution. Take for instance, in Nigeria, a liter of petrol is about 300 naira, which is above the minimum wage of most individuals in the country. This act alone has reduced the number of cars, which in turn has reduced the environmental problems in the country. In addition, increment of petroleum will also improve the economy of the country. Thus, improving the environment. Many countries have developed their economical status solely on the increase of petroleum and gas which in turn has decreased environmental hazards. Take for example, China, who in 2017, was recorded as the country with the ‘purest air to breathe’ by the World Health Organization. This was mainly achieved because the Chinese government increased fuel prices back in 2015 and these extra funds were diverted to other transportation systems which in directly reduced environmental hazards. If the government would raise the cost of fuel and divert the extra funds to other means of transportation this would reduce environmental problems. In conclusion, increment of fuel prices would aid in the eradication of environmental pollution which can be harmful to the health of the citizens as well as the globe as a whole.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
has become a major issue in both developed and undeveloped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
individuals share the view that
Did you mean "these"?
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
can be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reduced
by raising the cost of petrol for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
vehicles. I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this view
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this would result in
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun cars is countable.
less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
on the road leading to less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
hazards such as smoke inhalation and
also
lead to increase economy.

Uplifting the cost of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
would be a means to an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, this act will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the amount of individuals who can afford petroleum thereby reducing the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
on the road,
thus
reducing air pollution. Take
for instance
, in Nigeria, a liter of petrol is about 300
Possible agreement error. The noun 'naira' seems to be countable, so consider using: "nairas".
naira
, which is above the minimum wage of most individuals in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. This act alone has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reduced
the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
, which in turn has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reduced
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
in the country.

In addition
, increment of petroleum will
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the economy of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
Thus
, improving the environment.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
have developed their
Did you mean "economic" (=connected with economy)?
economical
status
solely
on the increase of petroleum and gas which in turn has decreased
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
hazards. Take
for example
, China, who in 2017,
was recorded
as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
with the ‘purest air to breathe’ by the World Health Organization. This was
mainly
achieved
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the Chinese
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
increased
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
prices back in 2015 and these extra funds
were diverted
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
transportation systems which in
directly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reduced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
hazards. If the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
Consider removing 'would'. (Usually, 'would' does not occur in a conditional clause, unless to make a request or give a polite order.)
would raise
the cost of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
and divert the extra funds to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
means of transportation this would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
problems.

In conclusion
, increment of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
prices would aid in the eradication of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
pollution which can be harmful to the health of the citizens
as well
as the globe as a whole.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
34Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that environmental problems can be solved by increasing the cost of fuel for cars and other vehicles. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
305 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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