Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people believe that environmental problems can be solved by increasing the cost of fuel for cars and other vehicles. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.2

Some people believe that environmental problems can be solved by increasing the cost of fuel for cars and other vehicles. v. 2
Environmental problems like climate change and the greenhouse effect are increasingly becoming the topic in most conferences and forums. Although a school of thought to think that increasing fuel prices for automobiles would solve these problems, I strongly disagree with this view. This essay will argue that this option will not only negatively affect the cost of living of low-income earners, but also, it will be a wrong approach to solving climate change issues. Firstly, An increase in the pump price of fuels will result in an increase in transportation cost and in general, the cost of living in the society. Consequently, the average standard of living will drop. The rate of poverty is on the increase and many families struggle to put food on their tables. For instance, a man who currently earns less than required to sustain his family and is just getting by, will be pushed into depression and possibly suicide when he realizes his salary can no longer meet his family's needs. In addition, many companies will lose workers as their wages may not cover the cost of transportation to work. Secondly, there are other sources of energy that could be researched into for possibilities of replacing the use of fuels that affect our environment. These could be renewable sources like water and wind. Authorities should disburse funds to research centres and institutes enough to enable the scientists to work more to discover how hydro-power can be used in vehicles and other engines instead of atmosphere damaging fuels. For example, a climate change activist travelled from China to Geneva to attend the last climate change summit in Geneva using an emission-free boat. She did not need to join world leaders who came in private jets that further added to the problem they were supposedly going to discuss. In conclusion, all of humankind must take responsibility for the environment but definitely not at the expense of the people who barely make enough money to get by. Government and responsible agencies should seek other ways to rescuing our environment and ensure the world is safe again.
Environmental problems like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
climate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
and the greenhouse effect are
increasingly
becoming the topic in most conferences and forums. Although a school of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
prices for automobiles would solve these problems, I
strongly
disagree with this view. This essay will argue that this option will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
negatively
affect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
of living of low-income earners,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
, it will be a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
approach to solving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
climate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
issues.

Firstly
, An increase in the pump price of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuels
will result in an increase in transportation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
and
in general
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
of living in the society.
Consequently
, the average standard of living will drop. The rate of poverty is on the increase and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
families struggle to put food on their tables.
For instance
, a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
who
currently
earns less than required to sustain his family and is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
getting by, will
be pushed
into depression and
possibly
suicide when he realizes his salary can no longer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
his family's needs.
In addition
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
will lose workers as their wages may not cover the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
of transportation to work.

Secondly
, there are other sources of energy that could
be researched
into for possibilities of replacing the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuels
that affect our environment. These could be renewable sources like water and wind. Authorities should disburse funds to research
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
and institutes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to enable the scientists to work more to discover how hydro-power can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in vehicles and other engines
instead
of atmosphere damaging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuels
.
For example
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
climate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
activist travelled from China to Geneva to attend the last
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
climate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
summit in Geneva using an emission-free boat. She did not need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
world leaders who came in private jets that
further
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
to the problem they were
supposedly
going to discuss.

In conclusion
,
Consider using "all humankind" or "all of the humankind".
all of humankind
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
take responsibility for the environment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
definitely not at the expense of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
barely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
money to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
by.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
and responsible agencies should seek other ways to rescuing our environment and ensure the world is safe again.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes
The limits of my language mean the limits of my world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay Some people believe that environmental problems can be solved by increasing the cost of fuel for cars and other vehicles. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
348 words
9
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 9.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 9.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 9.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts