Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people believe that employment over the age of 60 is not right and creates lots of problems. So people should retire after 60 and not work. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? v.5

Some people believe that employment over the age of 60 is not right and creates lots of problems. So people should retire after 60 and not work. with this opinion? v. 5
Over the past decades, the advancement of medication that enhance the strength of the seniors has translated into late retirement in most affluent nations. Alongside this changing pattern in population, the latest sociological discoveries has casted light on the necessities for people to retire after 60 in order to sustain both individual physical condition and the provision of jobs. This essay will use the example from these academic work to assert that people who aged 60 should quit their jobs to enjoy the late life. To begin with, retirement is intuitively perceived as a corollary of weakened physical constraint. What this means is that the constantly vigorous lifestyle in one’s adulthood, to a considerable extent, has emasculated one’s physical ability, whereas continuing such vibrant life probably aggravates their conditions. For instance, recent empirical research from the World Health Organisation ascertained that working after 60 often increases the potential for one to get chronic diseases entailing heart attack and joint pain in the subsequent decade. Consistent with this line of thinking, coupled with a enjoyable lifestyle, one is likely to gain his longevity after retirement. Another pivotal component to remember, meanwhile, is the sustainable development of labour markets. This is because the job opportunities are invariably restricted in most business sectors, and retirement is somehow ensure the continuous promotion in a general career path. In fact, after being interviewed by the Labour Force Consulting Group, the majority of employers admitted that they often consider the promotion of an experienced staff upon the resignation of their managers. Seen in this light, the leave of the senior workforce broadly constitutes a chance for rewarding the juniors who gained sufficient sophistication, which then sustain the diversity in labour markets. In conclusion, there is ample evidence suggesting that retirement is essential to both individual longevity and societal development. Given the strength of evidence, it is predicted that the government will enact any measures to coerce people who age 60 into retirement in the foreseeable future.
Over the past decades, the advancement of medication that enhance the strength of the seniors has translated into late
retirement
in most affluent nations. Alongside this changing pattern in population, the latest sociological discoveries has
casted
light on the necessities for
people
to retire after 60 in order to sustain both individual physical condition and the provision of jobs. This essay will
use
the example from these academic work to assert that
people
who aged 60 should quit their jobs to enjoy the late life.

To
begin
with,
retirement
is
intuitively
perceived as a corollary of weakened physical constraint. What this means is that the
constantly
vigorous lifestyle in one’s adulthood, to a considerable extent, has emasculated one’s physical ability, whereas continuing such vibrant life
probably
aggravates their conditions.
For instance
, recent empirical research from the World Health
Organisation
ascertained that working after 60
often
increases the potential for one to
get
chronic diseases entailing heart attack and joint pain in the subsequent decade. Consistent with this line of thinking, coupled with
a
enjoyable lifestyle, one is likely to gain his longevity after retirement.

Another pivotal component to remember, meanwhile, is the sustainable development of
labour
markets. This is
because
the job opportunities are
invariably
restricted in most business sectors, and
retirement
is somehow
ensure
the continuous promotion in a general career path. In fact, after
being interviewed
by the
Labour
Force Consulting Group, the majority of employers admitted that they
often
consider the promotion of an experienced staff upon the resignation of their managers.
Seen
in this light, the
leave
of the senior workforce
broadly
constitutes a chance for rewarding the juniors who gained sufficient sophistication, which then sustain the diversity in
labour
markets.

In conclusion
, there is ample evidence suggesting that
retirement
is essential to both individual longevity and societal development.
Given
the strength of evidence, it
is predicted
that the
government
will enact any measures to coerce
people
who age 60 into
retirement
in the foreseeable future.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that employment over the age of 60 is not right and creates lots of problems. So people should retire after 60 and not work. with this opinion? v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
330 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts