Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Scientists agree that many people are eating too much junk food and it is damaging their health. Some people think that this problems can be solved by educating people to eat less junk food. Other people believe that education will not work. Discuss both v.2

Scientists agree that many people are eating too much junk food and it is damaging their health. Some people think that this problems can be solved by educating people to eat less junk food. Other people believe that education will not work. 2
Experts through the developing and developed world have debated whether education can advocate the importance of balance diet efficiently or not. This essay will discuss both views and assert that learning is the first step, as well as a vital stage, to foster the well-being of our younger generation. To begin with, schooling is a key to establish a healthy lifestyle. The central reason behind this is twofold, firstly junior learners can understand the need of our bodies. In fact, compared to those who are not educated, enlightened students often recognise the nutritional content of their meals, giving rose to the likelihood of consuming balance diets in daily life. Secondly, by identifying the drawbacks of growing up on a diet of junk food, students are likely to stay away from fast food shop such as McDonald and MOSBurger, because of the potential ailments of obesity, diabetes and heart diseases. Although there is a case for education promulgating the idea of healthy diet, its effectiveness cannot be overstated. This is mainly attributed to the fundamental nature of our education system. For instance, instead of adopting those recommended lifestyles in textbook, the majority of our descendants admitted that they memorise the content merely because of academic needs, and this may stand in the way of employing of these knowledges in real life. Furthermore, students in their formative years are mostly rebellious and are eager to encounter challenges. This tends to encourage themselves to eat in the opposite way under peer pressures. In conclusion, there are good arguments for both sides. Given the increasing awareness of health problem, parents can act as a role model on eating in a flourishing way and constantly share the ensuing benefits with their children. It is predicted that education, accompanied by parenting skills, will manage to reduce the children' s desires on consuming junk food.
Experts through the developing and developed world have debated whether
education
can advocate the importance of balance diet
efficiently
or not. This essay will discuss both views and assert that learning is the
first
step,
as well
as a vital stage, to foster the well-being of our younger generation.

To
begin
with, schooling is a key to establish a healthy lifestyle. The central reason behind this is twofold,
firstly
junior learners can understand the need of our bodies. In fact, compared to those who are not educated, enlightened students
often
recognise
the nutritional content of their meals, giving rose to the likelihood of consuming balance diets in daily life.
Secondly
, by identifying the drawbacks of growing up on a diet of junk food, students are likely to stay away from
fast
food shop such as McDonald and
MOSBurger
,
because
of the potential ailments of obesity, diabetes and heart diseases.

Although there is a case for
education
promulgating the
idea
of healthy diet, its effectiveness cannot
be overstated
. This is
mainly
attributed to the fundamental nature of our
education
system.
For instance
,
instead
of adopting those recommended lifestyles in textbook, the majority of our descendants admitted that they
memorise
the content
merely
because
of academic needs, and this may stand in the way of employing of these
knowledges
in real life.
Furthermore
, students in their formative years are
mostly
rebellious and are eager to encounter challenges. This tends to encourage themselves to eat in the opposite way under peer pressures.

In conclusion
, there are
good
arguments for both sides.
Given
the increasing awareness of health problem, parents can act as a role model on eating
in a flourishing way
and
constantly
share the ensuing benefits with their children. It
is predicted
that
education
, accompanied by parenting
skills
, will manage to
reduce
the
children&
#039; s desires on consuming junk food.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay Scientists agree that many people are eating too much junk food and it is damaging their health. Some people think that this problems can be solved by educating people to eat less junk food. Other people believe that education will not work. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
308 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts