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Parents or other adult relatives should make important decisions for their (13 to 19 year-old) teenage children. Use specific reasons and examples to support your writing. v.3

Parents or other adult relatives should make important decisions for their (13 to 19 year-old) teenage children. Use specific reasons and examples to support your writing. v. 3
Experts throughout the developing and developed world have debated whether adults should make decisions for teenagers. In spite of the ensuing easy life, it is increasingly clear that such phenomenon is impeding one' s mental development. This essay will discuss both views and use the examples from Hong Kong to demonstrate points. To begin with, accepting decision from parents is intuitively perceived as the key to a promising future for average teenagers. The central reason behind this stems from the fact that parents are generally more mature and equipped with more knowledge to make the right decision. In fact, the majority of students admitted that they would quit the education system if their parents do not insist. Moreover, even if some junior learners do not perform well in a particular academic subject, the idea for joining a tutorial class is often initiated by adults. Therefore, it is conclusively clear that decisions from adult, to a considerable extent, foster the personal development of a child. Although there is a case for paving the way for a better life, the negative impact of making decisions for juniors cannot be ignored. This is largely because such action invariably precludes the children from shouldering the responsibility, which in turn hinders them from becoming independent. Apparently, there was a surge in university students who had constantly taken options picked by their parents submitting the application forms for discipline transfer. Consistent with this line of thinking is that these students would save one precious year if they are mature enough to choose their subjects. Thus, it is possible to state beyond doubt that persistently taking the decisions from seniors decreases the likelihood of acquiring adequate life skills. In conclusion, parents might mitigate the difficulties for their beloved children by making crucial decision for them, yet the underlying effect on weakening their life skills is by far more significant and outweigh the benefits. Given that the advent of technology can enrich one' s knowledge with a few button clicks, it is predicted that parents will leave the crucial matters to their children' discretion in the foreseeable future.
Experts throughout the developing and developed world have debated whether adults should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
In spite of
the ensuing easy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, it is
increasingly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that such phenomenon is impeding
Possible spelling mistake found.
one&
#039; s mental development. This essay will discuss both views and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the examples from Hong Kong to demonstrate points.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, accepting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
is
intuitively
perceived as the key to a promising future for average
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
. The central reason behind this stems from the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are
generally
more mature and equipped with more knowledge to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the right
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
. In fact, the majority of students admitted that they would quit the education system if their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
do not insist.
Moreover
, even if
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
junior learners do not perform well in a particular academic subject, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
for joining a tutorial
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
initiated by adults.
Therefore
, it is
conclusively
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
from adult, to a considerable extent, foster the personal development of a child.

Although there is a case for paving the way for a better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact of making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
for juniors cannot be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
. This is
largely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
such action
invariably
precludes the children from shouldering the responsibility, which in turn hinders them from becoming independent.
Apparently
, there was a surge in university students who had
constantly
taken options picked by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
submitting the application forms for discipline transfer. Consistent with this line of thinking is that these students would save one precious year if they are mature
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to choose their subjects.
Thus
, it is possible to state beyond doubt that
persistently
taking the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
from seniors decreases the likelihood of acquiring adequate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
might mitigate the difficulties for their beloved children by making crucial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
for them,
yet
the underlying effect on weakening their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
is by far more significant and outweigh the benefits.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Given
that the advent of technology can enrich
Possible spelling mistake found.
one&
#039; s knowledge with a few button clicks, it
is predicted
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
the crucial matters to their
Possible spelling mistake found.
children&
#039; discretion in the foreseeable future.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Parents or other adult relatives should make important decisions for their (13 to 19 year-old) teenage children. Use specific reasons and examples to support your writing. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
350 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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