Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people believe that elderly parents ought to live at senior homes. Other believe that they should live with family members. Do you agree or disagree? v.3

Some people believe that elderly parents ought to live at senior homes. Other believe that they should live with family members. v. 3
Many individuals assert that seniors should reside in old age homes, while others believe that living with the family members of this tenure is more apt for them. I believe, that love and affection are most vital for senior citizens than the professional care. In this essay, I would argue for the seniors should spend this crucial period at home only. On the one hand, challenging physical circumstances require them the dedicated 24/7 professional support. As with growing old, physical condition of the body gets deteriorating, where it needs someone urgently in many of the circumstances with professional equipments to cater these emergencies. For instance, a report published by the NHS, states that, if on time first aid treatment such as, Oxygen Nebultization would have been provided in those serious conditions, 30% of the lives might be saved in last 5 years. On the flip side, to overcome such challenging physical circumstances, sometimes psychological support plays a vital role too or even more effective than professional care. At the homely environment, where they can spend their pleasure time with kids and adults of family members, they sometimes forget their misery too, in their company. They cherish those moments, which eventually plays a bigger role in their health improvement, which sometimes could not be cured with medicines or professional care at old age homes. To sum up, I conclude that professional help is of great importance for elderly people, but it is the psychological support of family members at caring environment, which is very helpful for the betterment of senior citizens who might already have gone through the long medication process, but which could not achieve the best of results for them.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
individuals assert that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
seniors
should reside in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
age homes, while others believe that living with the family members of this tenure is more apt for them. I believe, that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
and affection are most vital for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
senior
citizens than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professional
care. In this essay, I would argue for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
seniors
should spend this crucial period at home
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
.

On the one hand, challenging physical circumstances require them the dedicated 24/7
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professional
support. As with growing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
, physical condition of the body
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
deteriorating, where it needs someone
urgently
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of the circumstances with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professional
equipments to cater these emergencies.
For instance
, a report published by the NHS, states that, if on time
first
aid treatment such as, Oxygen
Possible spelling mistake found.
Nebultization
would have
been provided
in those serious conditions, 30% of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
might
be saved
in last 5 years.

On the flip side, to overcome such challenging physical circumstances,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
psychological support plays a vital role too or even more effective than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professional
care. At the homely environment, where they can spend their pleasure time with kids and adults of family members, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
forget their misery too, in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
. They cherish those moments, which
eventually
plays a bigger role in their health improvement, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
could not
be cured
with medicines or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professional
care at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
age homes.

To sum up, I conclude that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professional
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
is of great importance for elderly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is the psychological support of family members at caring environment, which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
helpful for the betterment of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
senior
citizens who might already have gone through the long medication process,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
which could not achieve the best of results for them.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that elderly parents ought to live at senior homes. Other believe that they should live with family members. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
281 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts