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Some people believe that elderly parents ought to live at senior homes. Others believe that they should live with family members(blood relatives). Do you agree or disagree? v.2

Some people believe that elderly parents ought to live at senior homes. Others believe that they should live with family members(blood relatives). v. 2
In contemporary times, the number of elderly people living in the old age homes has increased massively. It has become often argued topic that aged parents should live in the senior homes, while others support that families should take care of the old members. I agree with the statement that the elderly people should reside with their blood relatives as this will provide mental and emotional support. The essay will discuss in more detail about the advantages of elderly people living with children The main argument for senior people living in an old age home is that they get impacted by loneliness and depression while living with strangers. This is mainly because of the reason that they feel cherished and blissful when living with their loved ones. To state an example, studies have revealed that elderly parents enjoy the company of their children and grandchildren and show better medical progress when surrounded by family rather than in seclusion. Furthermore, parents worked for their whole life and had raised their children. Therefore, its children’s duty to care for their elderly parents, which can best given at home. Although old people living in nursing homes have become a trend in many nations, while child support is more valuable to the elderly parents. In addition to this, the government in many countries provides pension schemes to the senior citizens, which can help with medical or other expenses. Therefore, older people will not be financially dependent on their children. This will resolve the concerns of the people who think that they cannot bear the medical cost of their parents. Additionally, grandchildren will learn their traditions, rituals, ethics and morality from their grandparents. To conclude, placing older people in senior houses has become a practice in some countries. However, this trend is overpowered by the fact that the feeling and regard which children can provide is more helpful to them in this age group.
In contemporary times, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
has increased
massively
. It has become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued topic that aged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
senior
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
, while others support that families should take care of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
members. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should reside with their blood relatives as this will provide mental and emotional support. The essay will discuss in more detail about the advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
with
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
children


The main argument for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
senior
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
age home is that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
impacted by loneliness and depression while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
with strangers. This is
mainly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the reason that they feel cherished and blissful when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones. To state an example, studies have revealed that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
enjoy the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and grandchildren and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
better medical progress when surrounded by family
rather
than in seclusion.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
worked for their whole life and had raised their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
Therefore
, its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
duty to care for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
, which can best
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
at home.

Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in nursing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
have become a trend in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
nations, while child support is more valuable to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
In addition
to this, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries provides pension schemes to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
senior
citizens, which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
with medical or other expenses.
Therefore
, older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will not be
financially
dependent on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. This will resolve the concerns of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that they cannot bear the medical cost of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
Additionally
, grandchildren will learn their traditions, rituals, ethics and morality from their grandparents.

To conclude
, placing older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
senior
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
has become a practice in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries.
However
, this trend
is overpowered
by the fact that the feeling and regard which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can provide is more helpful to them in this age group.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
42Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that elderly parents ought to live at senior homes. Others believe that they should live with family members(blood relatives). v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
319 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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