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Many countries want to host international sports events while other think that hosting sports events has more problems than benefits. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.1

Many countries want to host international sports events while other think that hosting sports events has more problems than benefits. v. 1
The rate of major crimes committed has steadily increased year-on-year. In order to discourage these happenings, some are of the viewpoint that the greatest measure to be implemented is the use of capital punishment, while others argue that various methods will be required. This essay will discuss both views in details. On the one hand, it is thought of by some people that judicial murder is the most important way to reduce illegal actions. This is because they believe that by assassinating the perpetrators of such acts, it will serve as a lesson to the masses and make them desist from carrying out such actions. For instance, the rate of crime committed in China is very low and this can be attributed to the fact that any government official found guilty of an offence is assassinated by hanging. As such, they are of the idea that terminating wrong doers will make humans desist from behaving in an unlawful manner. On the other hand, others believe that various approaches are desired to minimize the level of serious offences executed. This is owing to the fact they think some men were killed for felony they never enacted either due to improper or unethical legal proceedings. For example, a research carried out in some parts of Asia show that nine in every ten persons killed for transgressing were innocent. For this reason, this school of thought speculates that alternative strategies should be adopted in curbing violations of the law. In summary, there has been an incredible rise in major misdeeds annually. The principal form of sanctioning is seen by some as executing while others disagree. This essay discussed various reasons why they hold these perspectives.
The rate of major crimes committed has
steadily
increased year-on-year. In order to discourage these happenings,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
are of the viewpoint that the greatest measure to
be implemented
is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of capital punishment, while others argue that various methods will
be required
. This essay will discuss both views in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
.

On the one hand, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
of by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that judicial murder is the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
illegal actions. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they believe that by assassinating the perpetrators of such acts, it will serve as a lesson to the masses and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them desist from carrying out such actions.
For instance
, the rate of crime committed in China is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
low and this can
be attributed
to the fact that any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
official found guilty of an
Possible spelling mistake. 'offence' is British English.
offence
is assassinated
by hanging. As such, they are of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that terminating
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
doers will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
humans desist from behaving
Consider replacing "in an unlawful manner" with the adverb for "unlawful"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in an unlawful manner
.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, others believe that various approaches
are desired
to minimize the level of serious
Possible spelling mistake. 'offences' is British English.
offences
executed. This is owing to the fact they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
were killed
for felony they never enacted either due to improper or unethical legal proceedings.
For example
,
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "research".
a research
carried out in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
parts of Asia
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that nine in every ten persons killed for transgressing were innocent.
For this reason
, this school of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
speculates that alternative strategies should
be adopted
in curbing violations of the law.

In summary, there has been an incredible rise in major misdeeds
annually
. The principal form of sanctioning is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
as executing while others disagree. This essay discussed various reasons why they hold these perspectives.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Many countries want to host international sports events while other think that hosting sports events has more problems than benefits. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
282 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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