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Some people believe that educational success depends on good teachers. Others think that it is dependent on the attitude of the students. Discuss both of the views and give your opinion. v.5

Some people believe that educational success depends on good teachers. Others think that it is dependent on the attitude of the students. v. 5
Opinions are divided as to which element is more important to achieving academic success. While some say good instructors play a crucial role, I would argue that the right minds of students are more important. Admittedly, excellent instructors recognize students’ weaknesses and provide specific instructions, thus helping learners achieve academic success. Good instructors are often experienced and possess expertise, which means that they have a better chance of telling people what should be done to improve their academic scores. In other words, these instructors could assist learners in finding their flaws that might be overlooked or ignored by themselves, and then design courses that are tailored to students’ need, helping students form a better understanding of how to improve their academic performance. Following these instructions step by step, students are more likely to reach their academic goals than study at their own pace. In spite of the above argument, I believe that students’ attitudes are more important when it comes to academic achievements. Firstly, students may disagree with teachers’ judgement and evaluations, and then disobey rules or behave aggressively in the classroom on purpose, which may bring chaos and ruin the study atmosphere. In addition, when pupils have resistance to certain subjects due to laziness or dislike, teachers’ knowledge may not be appreciated. For example, if students hate studying math, a knowledgeable math professor can be completely ignored. That is to say, teachers’ efforts are valueless unless students enjoy the process of learning. In conclusion, teachers can guide students to get academic attainments, but such a guidance would be useless unless students have a positive opinion toward it.
Opinions
are divided
as to which element is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to achieving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
success. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
say
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
instructors
play a crucial role, I would argue that the right minds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.

Admittedly
, excellent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
instructors
recognize
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
weaknesses and provide specific instructions,
thus
helping learners achieve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
success.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
instructors
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
experienced and possess expertise, which means that they have a better chance of telling
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
what should
be done
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
scores.
In other words
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
instructors
could assist learners in finding their flaws that might
be overlooked
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
by themselves, and then design courses that
are tailored
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
need, helping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
form a better understanding of how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
performance. Following these
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "instructions'" or "instruction's"?
instructions
step by step,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are more likely to reach their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
goals than study at their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
pace.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
In spite of
the above argument, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
attitudes are more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
achievements.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
may disagree with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers’
judgement and evaluations, and then disobey
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
or behave
aggressively
in the classroom on purpose, which may bring chaos and ruin the study atmosphere.
In addition
, when pupils have resistance to certain subjects due to laziness or dislike,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers’
knowledge may not
be appreciated
.
For example
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
hate studying math, a knowledgeable math professor can be completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
.
That is
to say,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers’
efforts are valueless unless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
enjoy the process of learning.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
can guide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
attainments,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
such a guidance would be useless unless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
opinion toward it.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
He who knows no foreign languages know nothing of his own.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

IELTS essay Some people believe that educational success depends on good teachers. Others think that it is dependent on the attitude of the students. v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
268 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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