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Many people assume that the goal of every country should be to produce more materials and goods. To what extent do you agree or disagree that constantly increasing production is an appropriate goal? v.3

Many people assume that the goal of every country should be to produce more materials and goods. that constantly increasing production is an appropriate goal? v. 3
It is argued that the goal of all countries should generate more products as like materials and goods. I personally believe that mass production will raise the availability of the products for the people of a country and increases the national revenue by importing rest materials and goods in the foreign country. To begin with, a country can produce more materials and goods for their commodities so that the inhabitant of their country cannot be dependent on others nation. The citizens of a country required so many things such as food, clothes, medicine, and asylum etc. For instance, University of Dhaka published a survey that the adequate amount of materials, namely iron and goods as like medicine are produced in Bangladesh. Hence, the government of a country can produce a lot of products according to the demand. Furthermore, the country tries to produce more materials and goods not only will people be able to use their own materials and commodities and they plan to import them from other countries with high prices. For example, China earn more than $10 billion by importing materials and good. China is a country which manufactures different gadgets and heavy equipments which imported all over the world. So, mass production increases the economic benefits of a country. To sum up, the aim is to manufacture much material and commodities should be effective for all of the country. Mass production not only satisfy the people of a country, but also assist to grow up revenue of a country.
It
is argued
that the goal of all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
should generate more products as like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
. I
personally
believe that mass production will raise the availability of the products for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and increases the national revenue by importing rest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
in the foreign country.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
can produce more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
for their commodities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that the inhabitant of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
cannot be dependent on
Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean "others'" or "other's"?
others
nation. The citizens of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
required
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things such as food, clothes, medicine, and asylum etc.
For instance
, University of Dhaka published a survey that the adequate amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
,
namely
iron and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
as like medicine
are produced
in Bangladesh.
Hence
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
can produce
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
products according to the demand.

Furthermore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
tries to produce more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
and
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
commodities and
they plan to import them from other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
with high prices.
For example
, China earn more than $10 billion by importing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
. China is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
which manufactures
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
gadgets and heavy equipments which imported all over the world.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, mass production increases the economic benefits of a country.

To sum up, the aim is to manufacture much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
material
and commodities should be effective for
Consider using "all the".
all of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. Mass production not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
satisfy the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
assist to grow up revenue of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
We should learn languages because language is the only thing worth knowing even poorly.
Kató Lomb

IELTS essay Many people assume that the goal of every country should be to produce more materials and goods. that constantly increasing production is an appropriate goal? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
252 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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