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Some people believe that educational success depends on good teachers. Others think that it depends on the attitude of the students. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.4

Some people believe that educational success depends on good teachers. Others think that it depends on the attitude of the students. v. 4
It has always been said that the criminal will be always criminal regardless the environment he/she lives in. This is evidenced by the fact that criminals commit more offences after being liberated from their imprisonment. But, this misbehaviour has many financial and social reasons prevent criminals from having a new clean step stone. This essay will explain some of these causes and shed light on some effective solutions could enable the punished criminals to establish a new bright start. Lack of feeding sources and social isolation are the two main culprits behind the growing misbehaving attitude of the released criminals. Most of people who have a criminal history lack sufficient trust. Finding a former criminal as a cashier, for example, is truly scarce. This results in lack of job opportunities and hence, facing harsh financial conditions. In addition, society deals with criminal committed individuals as being permanently cursed. This misconception causes a sheer ignorance of these innocent humans, which will not find other alternatives but to pursue their criminal performance. I have been living in a building houses a former offender in the last floor. No one dares to conserve with him because he was simply a criminal. Despite all of these difficulties, there are some practical solutions, on the shoulders of the governments, that could end the offenders' permanent struggle and thereby live as a normal honourable citizen. Firstly, governments should establish promotional campaigns to raise the public awareness towards the fact that the offender could be a good person, if he/she is hospitalised by the society. Furthermore, suitable jobs should be promptly arranged to host the newly released criminals, which will not only provide source of personal living expenses but also help in eradicating the deep-rooted hatreds towards the society. Hence, peace will prevail between both sides. In conclusion, offences committed by newly released offenders are unstoppable. This essay explained the reasons behind this, which are the joblessness and the grave social negligence, and proposed appropriate governmental solutions for this issue, which are reshaping the public conception towards the punished criminals and organising instant jobs for hosting liberated criminals.
It has always
been said
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
will be always
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
regardless the environment he/she
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in. This
is evidenced
by the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
commit more
Possible spelling mistake. 'offences' is British English.
offences
after
being liberated
from their imprisonment.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, this
Possible spelling mistake. 'misbehaviour' is British English.
misbehaviour
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
financial and social reasons
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
from having a new clean step stone. This essay will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of these causes and shed light on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
effective solutions could enable the punished
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
to establish a new bright
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
.

Lack of feeding sources and social isolation are the two main culprits behind the growing misbehaving attitude of the released
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
. Most of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
history lack sufficient trust. Finding a former
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
as a cashier,
for example
, is
truly
scarce. This results in lack of job opportunities and
hence
, facing harsh financial conditions.
In addition
, society deals with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
committed individuals as being
permanently
cursed. This misconception causes a sheer ignorance of these innocent humans, which will not find other alternatives
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
to pursue their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
performance. I have been living in a building
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
a former offender in the last floor. No one dares to conserve with him
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he was
simply
a criminal.

Despite all of these difficulties, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
practical solutions, on the shoulders of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
, that could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
the offenders' permanent struggle and thereby
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
as a normal
Possible spelling mistake found.
honourable
citizen.
Firstly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should establish promotional campaigns to raise the public awareness towards the fact that the offender could be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
person, if he/she is
Possible spelling mistake. 'hospitalised' is British English.
hospitalised
by the society.
Furthermore
, suitable jobs should be
promptly
arranged to host the
newly
released
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
, which will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
provide source of personal living expenses
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in eradicating the deep-rooted hatreds towards the society.
Hence
, peace will prevail between both sides.

In conclusion
,
Possible spelling mistake. 'offences' is British English.
offences
committed by
newly
released offenders are unstoppable. This essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
the reasons behind this, which are the joblessness and the grave social negligence, and proposed appropriate governmental solutions for this issue, which are reshaping the public conception towards the punished
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
and
Possible spelling mistake. 'organising' is British English.
organising
instant jobs for hosting liberated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Some people believe that educational success depends on good teachers. Others think that it depends on the attitude of the students. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
351 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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