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Nowadays, international tourism is the biggest industry in the world. Unfortunately, international tourism creates tension rather than understanding between people from different cultures. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.6

Nowadays, international tourism is the biggest industry in the world. Unfortunately, international tourism creates tension rather than understanding between people from different cultures. v. 6
In today’s world, international tourism is generating enormous financial wealth and has become the primary source of income for numerous countries around the globe. Although many people think this industry is likely to cause tension, my conviction is that international tourism greatly facilitates understanding between people of different cultural backgrounds. There are indeed several instances where international travel created social conflicts. One recent incident occurred when Logan Paul, a renowned Youtuber, visited Japan and ridiculed Japanese traditions and lifestyles. Such mockery caused tremendous public outrage and prejudice against this young American. Another example is the inappropriate and selfish behavior of a group of Chinese tourists during a buffet dinner party in a Thai tourist destination a few years ago. Even though these examples do not represent the attitudes and behavior of the rest of the American and Chinese populations, they, as a matter of fact, did increase tension between the countries involved. That being said, visiting a foreign country will most likely help tourists to understand more about the local customs and lifestyles. While mass media, such as TV or newspapers, gives people some exposure to foreign cultures, overseas tourists tend to have more authentic and unique experiences that lead to a more profound understanding. This is extremely important because embracing cultural differences is key to establishing and maintaining social relationships in this day and age. In conclusion, international tourism allows overseas visitors to experience different cultures and can therefore connect people through a mutual understanding. In my opinion, we should not merely judge the industry based on a small number of situations where conflicts arose from the misconduct of only a handful of individuals.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s world,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
tourism is generating enormous financial wealth and has become the primary source of income for numerous countries around the globe. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
this industry is likely to cause tension, my conviction is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
tourism
greatly
facilitates understanding between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cultural backgrounds.

There are
indeed
several instances where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
travel created social conflicts. One recent incident occurred when Logan Paul, a renowned
Possible spelling mistake found.
Youtuber
, visited Japan and ridiculed Japanese traditions and lifestyles. Such mockery caused tremendous public outrage and prejudice against this young American. Another example is the inappropriate and selfish behavior of a group of Chinese
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
during a buffet dinner party in a Thai
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
destination a few years ago.
Even though
these examples do not represent the attitudes and behavior of the rest of the American and Chinese populations, they, as a matter of fact, did increase tension between the countries involved.

That
being said
, visiting a foreign country will most likely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
to understand more about the local customs and lifestyles. While mass media, such as TV or newspapers, gives
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
exposure to foreign cultures, overseas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
tend to have more authentic and unique experiences that lead to a more profound understanding. This is
extremely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
embracing cultural differences is key to establishing and maintaining social relationships in this day and age.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
tourism
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
overseas visitors to experience
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cultures and can
therefore
connect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
through a mutual understanding. In my opinion, we should not
merely
judge the industry based on a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
number of situations where conflicts arose from the misconduct of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a handful of individuals.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays, international tourism is the biggest industry in the world. Unfortunately, international tourism creates tension rather than understanding between people from different cultures. v. 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
275 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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