Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people think that money is the best gift for teenagers. Others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.3

Some people think that money is the best gift for teenagers. Others disagree. v. 3
Presents are nothing but a token of love which can be in any sources like toys, clothes, and money. Some of them believe that money is the better gift for a youngster but other sets of people and including my opinion do not agree with the above statement. To begin with, people prefer giving cash, because at times they might not like a materialist thing which is brought for them, due to differences in likes. For example, young people have their know choices and they want to follow modern trends and at the same time, adults are not aware of such a thing. This can get into conflicts in likes and dislikes. That’s the reason money is the best gift to offer. On the other hand, there are disadvantages to this kind of present because adolescents are not mature enough to make their own decisions and will not value money if its easily available to them on demand has a gift. This can land into misuse of money. For instance, due to peer pressure, many make mistakes like taking drugs, smoking and buy expensive stuff which is not needed like a phone to just show their value, that’s how they are misused. According to my firm belief, there are other ways to offer the gift, if possible proper consultation before buying gifts for youngsters would be a great deal than giving money. To conclude, offering money has a gift it is not is only a good way, teenagers can be spoiled and In my opinion, also there are other ways to offering presents than this.
Presents are nothing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
a token of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
which can be in any sources
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
like
toys, clothes, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
of them believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is the better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gift
for a youngster
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
sets of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and including my opinion do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the above statement.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
prefer giving cash,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
at times they might not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
like
a materialist thing which
is brought
for them, due to differences in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
likes
.
For example
, young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have their know
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
choices and
they want to follow modern trends and at the same time, adults are not aware of such a thing. This can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
into conflicts in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
likes
and dislikes. That’s the reason
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gift
to offer.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, there are disadvantages to this kind of present
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
adolescents are not mature
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
decisions and will not value
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
if
Did you mean "it's" (="it is") instead of 'its' (possessive pronoun)?
its
easily
available to them on demand has a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gift
. This can land into misuse of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
For instance
, due to peer pressure,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
mistakes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
like
taking drugs, smoking and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
expensive stuff which is not needed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
like
a phone to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their value, that’s how they
are misused
. According to my firm belief, there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
ways to offer the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gift
, if possible proper consultation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
buying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gifts
for youngsters would be a great deal than giving money.

To conclude
, offering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
has a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gift
it is not is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
can
be spoiled
and In my opinion,
also
there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
ways to offering presents than this.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that money is the best gift for teenagers. Others disagree. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
265 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts