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Some people believe that computer help to make the world better place. To what extend do you agree or disagree? Give your opinion. v.2

Some people believe that computer help to make the world better place. Give your opinion. v. 2
Numerous individuals assume that the existence of the computer changes the world to be a better place. In accordance with this statement, this essay will explain the point of view of this issue and also put forward my perspective in the following paragraphs. In regard to the argument above, I firmly agree to the opinion which believed that the presence of the temporary technology is capable of creating a better place for the world, and I tend to think that it is going to render countless fruitful influence for all persons. According to my perspective, it, first and foremost, makes people easier to obtain useful information which is in the end, will aid them in various aspects. Second but not less crucial, it is apparent that it will confer more opportunities for all masses to produce a business which related to this modern tool. Nevertheless, I additionally consider that the utilisation of this advanced technology is supposed to be controlled and maintained properly in order to create a positive impact merely. Regarding the solution for that, there are several counter measures which are able to be done. Firstly, the government ought to ban all websites which have a negative value. The authority, furthermore, should make a distinctive programme which discussed how to use numerous temporary technologies properly. Lastly, all individuals have to support the endeavours which have been done by their bureaucrat. By way of conclusion, it seems to me that the existence of computer is capable of providing the world to be a better place. Thus, in order to make it happen, all people and the bureaucrat are supposed to cooperate to each other.
Numerous individuals assume that the existence of the computer
changes
the world to be a better place. In accordance with this statement, this essay will
explain
the point of view of this issue and
also
put forward my perspective in the following paragraphs.

In regard to the argument above, I
firmly
agree
to the opinion which believed that the presence of the temporary technology is capable of creating a better place for the world, and I tend to
think
that it is going to render countless fruitful influence for all persons. According to my perspective, it,
first
and foremost,
makes
people
easier to obtain useful information which is in the
end
, will aid them in various aspects. Second
but
not less crucial, it is apparent that it will confer more opportunities for all masses to produce a business which related to this modern tool.

Nevertheless
, I
additionally
consider that the
utilisation
of this advanced technology
is supposed
to
be controlled
and maintained
properly
in order to create a
positive
impact
merely
. Regarding the solution for that, there are several counter measures which are able to
be done
.
Firstly
, the
government
ought to ban all websites which have a
negative
value. The authority,
furthermore
, should
make
a distinctive
programme
which discussed how to
use
numerous temporary technologies
properly
.
Lastly
, all individuals
have to
support the
endeavours
which have
been done
by their bureaucrat.

By way of conclusion, it seems to me that the existence of computer is capable of providing the world to be a better place.
Thus
, in order to
make
it happen, all
people
and the bureaucrat
are supposed
to cooperate to each other.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that computer help to make the world better place. Give your opinion. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
275 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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