Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Question 3: 60 secondsThe university plans to extend computer lab hrs and hire new staff and computer majors as assistants. The woman agrees with this change. v.1

Question 3: 60 secondsThe university plans to extend computer lab hrs and hire new staff and computer majors as assistants. The woman agrees with this change. v. 1
In some countries all over the world the decrease of health and fitness was detected. This essay will include all possible causes and measures to prevent this issue. One reason why it took place is a consequence of a sedentary lifestyle. As everybody knows lack of time and sport facilities, professions related to computers have resulted in sedentary lifestyle. All in all, it may cause obesity, which has become one of the current problems among teenagers and adults. As the second reason, I suppose that the meal which people used to consume, is not really healthy and natural. At worst occasion products may contain genetically modified organisms. As a solution for this issue, I would suggest individuals do some exercises in the morning before breakfast. However, it is not the only reason why people become obese. In some cases, some of them are not able to do sports and their organism requires a particular diet. For this option appropriate measures should be taken. By saying this, I consider that every yard must be provided with special trainers and it would be better if the gyms were free. Many schools and universities in foreign countries are furnished with them. It would be better to do the same with our institutions. But, the best way to deal with this problem is encouraging citizens to do sports by arranging sport events, as actually our previous mayor did. To conclude all above, everything which was mentioned leads to preventing the health level decrease. On the other hand, it may also impact on the development of countries in sports sphere.
In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries all over the world the decrease of health and fitness
was detected
. This essay will include all possible causes and measures to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
this issue.

One reason why it took place is a consequence of a sedentary lifestyle. As everybody knows lack of time and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
facilities, professions related to computers have resulted in sedentary lifestyle. All in all, it may cause obesity, which has become one of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
problems among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
and adults. As the second reason, I suppose that the meal which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to consume, is not
really
healthy and natural. At worst occasion products may contain
genetically
modified organisms.

As a solution for this issue, I would suggest individuals do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
exercises in the morning
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
breakfast.
However
, it is not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
reason why
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
become obese. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them are not able to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
and their organism requires a particular diet. For this option appropriate measures should
be taken
. By saying this, I consider that every yard
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be provided
with special trainers and it would be better if the gyms were free.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
schools and universities in foreign countries
are furnished
with them. It would be better to do the same with our institutions.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, the best way to deal with this problem is encouraging citizens to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
by arranging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
, as actually our previous mayor did.

To conclude
all above, everything which
was mentioned
leads to preventing the health level decrease.
On the other hand
, it may
also
impact on the development of countries in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
sphere.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
Learn everything you can, anytime you can, from anyone you can; there will always come a time when you will be grateful you did.
Sarah Caldwell

IELTS essay Question 3: 60 secondsThe university plans to extend computer lab hrs and hire new staff and computer majors as assistants. The woman agrees with this change. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
265 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts