Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people believe that competitive sports are important in children's study, whereas some believe that it is not useful as children feel that it is the only competition and winning. Discuss both the views and give your opinion. v.2

Some people believe that competitive sports are important in children's study, whereas some believe that it is not useful as children feel that it is the only competition and winning. v. 2
Sporting activities are something that provides a way of hard work and increase skills of an individual. Many argue that competitive sports play a significant role in children' s education while others believe that it may not be supportive as it may lead to a feeling of competition and winning the sports only. Here I would enumerate the pros and cons of sporting event in schooling. Importance of sports in child' s education is noticeable as it helps in nourishing one' s physical and mental ability. The concept of hard work and concentration boosts up due to the consideration of sports in academic work as it provides a way of refreshment from the burden of studies. It is also a way of skill development. It creates a feeling of competition and a will power of winning. Such activities encourages the value of co-operation and a sense of responsibilities. Now coming on to the cons of sporting activities in study, children' s focus is replaced from study to these sport activities. Children draws all their focus and concentration on sports and the importance of subjects get minimized. They believe that sports are the only competitions to participate and win rather than being attentive towards their academic work. But what I think is that involvement of sports is necessary in education as no other activities except for studies can make child an introvert person. As it is well said by someone " All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy" . So school should involve children in sport activities once a week which would neither disturb the academic focus nor one will get distressed by burden of studies. Hence, to put all in pocket, sporting activities should be considered along with other studies but giving less importance in comparison to academic subjects.
Sporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
are something that provides a way of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and increase
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
of an individual.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
argue that competitive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
play a significant role in
Possible spelling mistake found.
children&
#039; s education while others believe that it may not be supportive as it may lead to a feeling of competition and winning the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
. Here I would enumerate the pros and cons of sporting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
in schooling.

Importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
child&
#039; s education is noticeable as it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in nourishing
Possible spelling mistake found.
one&
#039; s physical and mental ability. The concept of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and concentration boosts up due to the consideration of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
as it provides a way of refreshment from the burden of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
. It is
also
a way of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
development. It creates a feeling of competition and a will power of winning. Such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
You should probably use "encourage".
encourages
the value of co-operation and a sense of responsibilities.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
coming on to the cons of sporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
children&
#039; s focus
is replaced
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
to these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
.
Possible agreement error. You should probably use: "child draws".
Children draws
all their focus and concentration on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
and the importance of subjects
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
minimized. They believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
competitions to participate and win
rather
than being attentive towards their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
what I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
is that involvement of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
is necessary in education as no other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
except for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
child an introvert person. As it is well said by someone
Possible spelling mistake found.
&quot
; All
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and no play
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
Jack a dull
Possible spelling mistake found.
boy&quot
;
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
school should involve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
once a week which would neither disturb the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
focus nor one will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
distressed by burden of studies.

Hence
, to put all in pocket, sporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
should
be considered
along with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
giving less importance
in comparison
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
subjects.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
34Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that competitive sports are important in children's study, whereas some believe that it is not useful as children feel that it is the only competition and winning. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
302 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts