Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people believe that competition helps children to be better prepared for their future, while others say that competition can be harmful to children and should be limited to adults. v.1

Some people believe that competition helps children to be better prepared for their future, while others say that competition can be harmful to children and should be limited to adults. v. 1
Competitions in the form of sports day, debate event, singing contest or paintwork and so on facilitate to polish the abilities and skills of children. Marvellous performances and brilliance showcased during these events help in unfolding the natural talent which children are capable of. Few people argue that competitions help children to face future challenges while others believe that these contests should be for adolescents only. This essay will present an opinion after analysing both viewpoints. Championships assist students in exploring their internal abilities and weaknesses which prepare them to tackle future struggles and hardships. Different sporting events and other academic sport like scrabble, racing, and mind math and so on are instrumental in making them physically fit and mentally strong. It helps to raise confidence, improves their planning skills and helps them to be more organised and focused, these are vital for an individual to progress well in future. For instance, debate competition helps children to explore their abilities to present their topic and aid in understand that winning or losing is a part of life and one should always put their best efforts irrespective of its outcome. Moreover, competitions in the form of tournaments or matches help children to learn how to handle and respond in pressure situation which can further help them in their academic exams. On the contrary, another school of thought believes that only adolescents should be tried for sporting events. Proponents of this viewpoint argue that children are too young to be tried for such events. Their physical structure is still under growing phase and any severe injury caused due to these competitions can have severe consequences. They say that children should focus more on academic studies and out station activities like an academic tour or picnic party would be more helpful for them than contesting in different events. Moreover, children might not be able to handle the pressure of an event which and losing while contesting can result in nervous breakdown or other mental disorder as children tend to be touchy and feel things very closely. Furthermore, it can result in hatred or give rise to jealousy as they are still young to understand and absorb the principles of competing. To recapitulate, the aforementioned provides plausible arguments in favour of both views. However, I personally believe that competition is good for children as it harness confidence, bravery and brace them to face future challenges effectively.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Competitions
in the form of sports day, debate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
, singing contest or paintwork and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on facilitate to polish the abilities and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
Possible spelling mistake. 'Marvellous' is British English.
Marvellous
performances and brilliance showcased during these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
in unfolding the natural talent which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are capable of. Few
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competitions
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to face
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
challenges while others believe that these contests should be for adolescents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
. This essay will present an opinion after
Possible spelling mistake. 'analysing' is British English.
analysing
both viewpoints.

Championships assist students in exploring their internal abilities and weaknesses which prepare them to tackle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
struggles and hardships.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Different
sporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
and other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
sport like scrabble, racing, and mind math and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on are instrumental in making them
physically
fit and mentally strong. It
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
to raise confidence,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
their planning
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
them to be more
Possible spelling mistake. 'organised' is British English.
organised
and focused, these are vital for an individual to progress well in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
.
For instance
, debate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to explore their abilities to present their topic and aid in understand that winning or losing is a part of life and one should always put their best efforts irrespective of its outcome.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competitions
in the form of tournaments or matches
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to learn how to handle and respond in pressure situation which can
further
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
exams.

On the contrary
, another school of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
believes that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
adolescents should
be tried
for sporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
. Proponents of this viewpoint argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are too young to
be tried
for such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
. Their physical structure is
still
under growing phase and any severe injury caused due to these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competitions
can have severe consequences. They say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should focus more on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
studies and out station activities like an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
tour or picnic party would be more helpful for them than contesting in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
might not be able to handle the pressure of an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
which and losing while contesting can result in nervous breakdown or other mental disorder as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
tend to be touchy and feel things
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
closely
.
Furthermore
, it can result in hatred or give rise to jealousy as they are
still
young to understand and absorb the principles of competing.

To recapitulate, the aforementioned provides plausible arguments in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of both views.
However
, I
personally
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
as it harness confidence, bravery and brace them to face
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
challenges
effectively
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
38Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that competition helps children to be better prepared for their future, while others say that competition can be harmful to children and should be limited to adults. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
401 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts