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Though women mostly take care of their children in most of the societies, men can also be as good as women in upbringing children. The parenting responsibilities should be equally divided and both father and mother should take care of their children. v.1

Though women mostly take care of their children in most of the societies, men can also be as good as women in upbringing children. The parenting responsibilities should be equally divided and both father and mother should take care of their children. v. 1
We came in this world as an infant with a blank slate in our mind to be filled with various things as we grow older. We receive inputs from the society comprises of peoples such as our parents, siblings, relatives, playmates, friends and our teachers. But our first teachers is our parents and I think they are the best among all the teachers we come across in our life because they are the one we spent most of our time with and they have greater influence in our lives than anyone else. Learning starts as soon a child appears in his mother’s womb and as per a scientific study evidence was found that most of the neurone connection in human develops even before they come to the world. So undoubtedly parents are first and the most important teachers. They taught us how to eat, how to walk and to summarise how to behave like a human. For example, once I had seen a footage on Discovery channel wherein a four-year girl was found in the custody of dogs who have raised her ever since her parents left her. And a result of this is that she hardly speaks, she used to bark and walk on four legs instead to two. So this proves that what we see is what we learn. Hence parents play a pivotal role in our life acting as the very first tutor of behavioural science. Yes, there is no doubt that school teachers are the best gift you can get because they bestow you with all the knowledge and experience they have. But characters and personality are built at home and parents are the best teachers because they will always be there for you whenever you feel confused and guide you to the path which is best for you.
We came in this world as an infant with a blank slate in our mind to
be filled
with various things as we grow older. We receive inputs from the society
comprises of
peoples such as our
parents
, siblings, relatives, playmates, friends and our
teachers
.
But
our
first
teachers
is our
parents
and I
think
they are the
best
among all the
teachers
we
come
across in our life
because
they are the one we spent most of our time
with and
they have greater influence in our
lives
than anyone else.

Learning
starts
as
soon
a child appears in his mother’s womb and as per a scientific study evidence
was found
that most of the
neurone
connection in human develops even
before
they
come
to the world.
So
undoubtedly
parents
are
first
and the most
important
teachers
. They taught us how to eat, how to walk and to
summarise
how to behave like a human.
For example
, once I had
seen
a footage on Discovery channel wherein a four-year girl
was found
in the custody of dogs who have raised her ever since her
parents
left
her. And a result of this is that she hardly speaks, she
used
to bark and walk on four legs
instead
to two.
So
this proves that what we
see
is what we learn.
Hence
parents
play a pivotal role in our life acting as the
very
first
tutor of
behavioural
science.

Yes, there is no doubt that school
teachers
are the
best
gift you can
get
because
they bestow you with all the knowledge and experience they have.
But
characters and personality
are built
at home and
parents
are the
best
teachers
because
they will always be there for you whenever you feel confused and guide you to the path which is
best
for you.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay Though women mostly take care of their children in most of the societies, men can also be as good as women in upbringing children. The parenting responsibilities should be equally divided and both father and mother should take care of their children. v. 1

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
303 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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