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Some people believe that children's leisure activities must be educational, otherwise they are a complete waste of time. v.12

Some people believe that children's leisure activities must be educational, otherwise they are a complete waste of time. v. 12
The use of social media has increased over the world today. In recent times, people use social platforms as the main source of information. This essay will discuss the reasons behind the increased usage of social media as a source of happenings over the world and also argue that this trend has its positive and negative side. Many individuals use online platforms as their source of information for many reasons. The first reason is that the world has gone digital; hence, most media companies update their websites and social media platforms as soon as they have a data to disseminate and this makes analog newspapers outdated. As a result, people rather login to these websites and other outlets to get up-to-date data. In addition, due to the increased usage of smartphones, it is cheaper for individuals to keep up with recent happenings rather than buying conventional newspapers. For instance, with a data subscription of 7 euro per month, my phone connects me to the world through online platforms amidst other various things, which is cheaper than purchasing conventional media dailies. There is one main benefit and drawback to the use of online media to follow recent events. The benefits of this trend include wider and faster coverage of the news in question. Unlike conventional media, which can only be accessed through daily papers or television, online media is accessed with a smartphone or a computer and this can be done anywhere. One does not need a newspaper or a television (which are not always present) to do read or listen to the news. However, there are drawbacks to this trend. The main pitfall is that fake news are bound to spread faster, making it quite difficult to curb, after it has been disseminated. Because anyone can create a website solely for the purpose of spreading fake news, it makes it impossible for readers distinguish between authentic reports and fake news. When fake news spread, this can result in panic of the general public. In conclusion, there has been an increase in the use of online applications to follow recent happenings. This essay discussed why people do this and also argued that this development has its positive side as well as its negative side.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
has increased over the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
recent
times,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
platforms
as the main source of information. This essay will discuss the reasons behind the increased usage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
as a source of happenings over the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
and
also
argue that this trend has its
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
side.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
platforms
as their source of information for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons. The
first
reason is that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
has gone digital;
hence
, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
update their websites and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
platforms
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as they have a data to disseminate and this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
analog newspapers outdated.
As a result
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
rather
login to these websites and other outlets to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
up-to-date data.
In addition
, due to the increased usage of smartphones, it is cheaper for individuals to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
up with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
recent
happenings
rather
than buying conventional newspapers.
For instance
, with a data subscription of 7
Possible agreement error. The noun 'euro' seems to be countable, so consider using: "euros".
euro
per month, my phone connects me to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
platforms
amidst other various things, which is cheaper than purchasing conventional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
dailies.

There is one main benefit and drawback to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
to follow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
recent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
. The benefits of this trend include wider and faster coverage of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
in question. Unlike conventional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
, which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be accessed
through daily papers or television,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is accessed
with a smartphone or a computer and this can
be done
anywhere. One does not need a newspaper or a television (which are not always present) to do read or listen to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
.
However
, there are drawbacks to this trend. The main pitfall is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fake
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
are bound
to spread faster, making it quite difficult to curb, after it has
been disseminated
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
anyone can create a website
solely
for the purpose of spreading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fake
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it impossible for readers distinguish between authentic reports and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fake
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fake
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
spread, this can result in panic of the
Consider using "public".
general public
.

In conclusion
, there has been an increase in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
applications to follow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
recent
happenings. This essay discussed why
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do this and
also
argued that this development has its
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
side
as well
as its
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
side.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that children's leisure activities must be educational, otherwise they are a complete waste of time. v. 12

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
373 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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