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Some people believe that children’s leisure activities must be educational, otherwise they are a complete waste of time. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your aswer and include any relevant examples from your experience. v.4

Some people believe that children’s leisure activities must be educational, otherwise they are a complete waste of time. Give reasons for your aswer and include any relevant examples from your experience. v. 4
Spare time activities are considered for some people such as part of the educational plan. However, certain demographics of society think that the leisure is only a waste of time. In my opinion, I agree with the spare hours should be included in the study programs, due to this would help to create other abilities. Some people agree with the period at the school only be used for regular subjects such as: math, language, science. This argument in general expresses that it does not have leisure activities would mean that the children could share a quality time with their parents. For instance, in the past, there was not available a recreation such as course for children, and this allow have a more familiar life. Nevertheless, for the current time I think is not possibly understand the school such as institution where the people only assist for learn regular subjects. In my opnion primary and secondary should incorporate obligatorily leisure, because in the modern world the people have to work their soft skills. When we are adults, for instance, in the workplace is more relevant have emotional intelligence than other kinds of abilities, and the moment for learning this is at the school, although of recreation such as sports, dance, club of lectures, for example. In conclusion, in my view recreation is essential for the children today, since this help them to cultivate other soft abilities. In this way, this also would be a great contribution for the education, and if this enhance the world also improve.
Spare
time
activities
are considered
for
some
people
such as part of the educational plan.
However
, certain demographics of society
think
that the leisure is
only
a waste of
time
. In my opinion, I
agree
with the spare hours should
be included
in the study programs, due to this would
help
to create other abilities.

Some
people
agree
with the period at the school
only
be
used
for regular subjects such as: math, language, science. This argument
in general
expresses that it does not have leisure activities would mean that the children could share a quality
time
with their parents.
For instance
, in the past, there was not available a recreation such as course for children, and this
allow
have
a more familiar life.

Nevertheless
, for the
current
time
I
think
is not
possibly
understand the school such as institution where the
people
only
assist for learn regular subjects. In my
opnion
primary and secondary should incorporate
obligatorily
leisure,
because
in the modern world the
people
have to
work their soft
skills
. When we are adults,
for instance
, in the workplace is more relevant have emotional intelligence than other kinds of abilities, and the moment for learning this is at the school, although of recreation such as sports, dance, club of lectures,
for example
.

In conclusion
, in my view recreation is essential for the children
today
, since this
help
them to cultivate other soft abilities. In this way, this
also
would be a great contribution for the education, and if
this enhance
the world
also
improve
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
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IELTS essay Some people believe that children’s leisure activities must be educational, otherwise they are a complete waste of time. Give reasons for your aswer and include any relevant examples from your experience. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
256 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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