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Some people believe that children’s leisure activities must be educational, otherwise they are a complete waste of time. Do you agree or disagree? v.2

Some people believe that children’s leisure activities must be educational, otherwise they are a complete waste of time. v. 2
Religious The first community that has played an essential role in my personal experience is the Church. Having the same purpose and beliefs creates a strong connection among participants. Additionally, spreading the message of the Bible about being loved as equals, as brother and sisters, enhances kindness among members. Despite the fear of judgments and the necessity of fitting into a pattern, religious groups are what reminds me most home. Students from the same program The second community that should be mentioned is of those who attend the same classes. The fundamental motive is the daily living at college. Other students in the same program fight the same battles than me; therefore, they can fully understand my frustrations and victories without further explanations. The most present emotion felt with classmates is relief of knowing that there is another person going through the same experiences. Additionally, the group regularly gives the support to achieve better grades. Learning focus groups The third group can be applied in both virtual and physical worlds. Learning focused groups have assisted me to maintain discipline and excitement to master diverse skills. When having conversations with members of this community, I felt motivated and more interested in the subjects that I aim to learn. The frustrations, despite still being a reality, are not challenging as it used to be. Friends from college The fourth community is built by people with related age, similar backgrounds, and equal objectives. Similarities create a genuine connection, providing plenty of chances for interaction. Emotions are commonly positive and cheerful, resulting in grateful memories. Moreover, another important aspect of the group is the personal confidence and trust felt with them. It gives the possibility of talking openly with most of the members. As a consequence, meeting with the members reduce stress, depression, and feeling of isolation. Support groups Different from the latest community, in support groups, people do not often share positive experiences. The meetings bring together people who are going through or have gone through similar experiences. They provide opportunities to share, and maybe overcome daunting challenges together. Supporting groups give the confidence for freedom of expression. The emotion of feeling less lonely, as present in other groups, is stronger when coming to the weekly reunions. A unique benefit of the group is feeling less judged, since most of the participants can possibly understand every aspect of your experiences. Group of hometown The final group is important since it gives a sense of recognition. Having other members who have similar childhood stories, that know your town, and background, it is fundamental to build a strong personality and give confidence. While living far from hometown might have a negative influence on self-confidence, feeling “small”, these Football team As other sports’ teams, working together for a similar purpose may strength the relationships with other players. Playing in groups creates a community of trust, as the whole team shares the same victories and losses. Although the feeling of frustrations might be constant as ones’ personal victories depend on others’ attitudes and effort. A positive emotion resulting from the group is inspiration and motivation enhanced my teammates and captains.
Religious

The
first
community
that has played an essential role in my personal
experience
is the Church. Having the same purpose and beliefs creates a strong connection among participants.
Additionally
, spreading the message of the Bible about being
loved
as equals, as brother and sisters, enhances kindness among
members
. Despite the fear of judgments and the necessity of fitting into a pattern, religious
groups
are what reminds me most home.

Students from the same program

The second
community
that should
be mentioned
is of those who attend the same classes. The fundamental motive is the daily living at college.
Other
students in the same program fight the same battles
than
me;
therefore
, they can
fully
understand my frustrations and victories without
further
explanations. The most present
emotion
felt with classmates is relief of knowing that there is another person going through the same
experiences
.
Additionally
, the
group
regularly
gives
the support to achieve better grades.

Learning focus groups

The third
group
can
be applied
in both virtual and physical worlds. Learning focused
groups
have assisted me to maintain discipline and excitement to master diverse
skills
. When having conversations with
members
of this
community
, I felt motivated and more interested in the subjects that I aim to learn. The frustrations, despite
still
being a reality, are not challenging as it
used
to be.

Friends from college

The fourth
community
is built
by
people
with related age,
similar
backgrounds, and equal objectives. Similarities create a genuine connection, providing
plenty
of chances for interaction.
Emotions
are
commonly
positive
and cheerful, resulting in grateful memories.
Moreover
, another
important
aspect of the
group
is the personal confidence and trust felt with them. It
gives
the possibility of talking
openly
with most of the
members
. As a consequence, meeting with the
members
reduce
stress
, depression, and
feeling
of isolation.

Support groups

Different
from the latest
community
, in support
groups
,
people
do not
often
share
positive
experiences
. The meetings bring together
people
who are going through or have gone through
similar
experiences
. They provide opportunities to share, and maybe overcome daunting challenges together. Supporting
groups
give
the confidence for freedom of expression. The
emotion
of
feeling
less lonely, as present in
other
groups
, is stronger when coming to the weekly reunions. A unique benefit of the
group
is
feeling
less judged, since most of the participants can
possibly
understand every aspect of your experiences.

Group of hometown

The final
group
is
important
since it
gives
a sense of recognition. Having
other
members
who have
similar
childhood stories, that know your town, and background, it is fundamental to build a strong personality and
give
confidence. While living far from hometown might have a
negative
influence on self-confidence,
feeling
small
”,
these


Football team

As
other
sports’ teams, working together for a
similar
purpose may strength the relationships with
other
players. Playing in
groups
creates a
community
of trust, as the whole team shares the same victories and losses. Although the
feeling
of frustrations might be constant as ones’ personal victories depend on others’ attitudes and effort. A
positive
emotion
resulting from the
group
is inspiration and motivation enhanced my teammates and captains.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
50Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
I love commuting between languages just like I love commuting between cultures and cities.
Elif Safak

IELTS essay Some people believe that children’s leisure activities must be educational, otherwise they are a complete waste of time. v. 2

Essay
  American English
7 paragraphs
523 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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