Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people believe that children's leisure activities must be educational, otherwise they are a complete waste of time. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

Some people believe that children's leisure activities must be educational, otherwise they are a complete waste of time. v. 1
It is considered by many people that school-going children should spend their free time on schoolwork rather than other activities. I disagree with the statement because childhood years are an important part of human life, and it is the best time to do anything that mind says. This essay will discuss the reason why children should not invest their whole time doing studies. One compelling reason is the significance of extra-curricular activities. Extra-curricular activities play a vital role in children mental development. It helps children in developing skills like coordination, creative thinking and problem solving, which are a crucial part of professional life. If juvenile spends all their leisure time on education, then they may not be able to develop these skills. For instance, the rising number of school are making sports, music, acting etc. as a compulsory part of the school curriculum. This proofs how much important these activities are for pupils overall development. Another vital point is the waste of children talent. It is the reality that not everyone in this world poses the same type of talent. The talent of the individual varies based on many things. Therefore, if children commit themselves to school studies then they may never recognise their talent and remain mediocre for life. Furthermore, educational qualification is not the only way to become successful. Menu famous people like Sachin Tendulkar, Albert Einstein etc. were poor students at school but still, they achieved great height in their profession. In conclusion, although education qualification is imperative in the highly competitive market, spending some hours on other activities is beneficial in mental development and in recognising inner talent. Thus, children should equally indulge in other activities as studies.
It
is considered
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that school-going
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should spend their free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on schoolwork
rather
than other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
. I disagree with the statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
childhood years are an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
part of human life, and it is the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to do anything that mind says. This essay will discuss the reason why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should not invest their whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
doing studies.

One compelling reason is the significance of extra-curricular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
. Extra-curricular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
play a vital role in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
mental development. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in developing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
like coordination, creative thinking and problem solving, which are a crucial part of professional life. If juvenile spends all their leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on education, then they may not be able to develop these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
For instance
, the rising number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
are making sports, music, acting etc. as a compulsory part of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
curriculum. This proofs how much
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
are for pupils
overall
development.

Another vital point is the waste of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
. It is the reality that not everyone in this world poses the same type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
of the individual varies based on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things.
Therefore
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
commit themselves to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
studies then they may never
Possible spelling mistake. 'recognise' is British English.
recognise
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
and remain mediocre for life.
Furthermore
, educational qualification is not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way to become successful. Menu
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
like
Possible spelling mistake found.
Sachin
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tendulkar
, Albert Einstein etc. were poor students at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
still
, they achieved great height in their profession.

In conclusion
, although education qualification is imperative in the
highly
competitive market, spending
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
hours on other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
is beneficial in mental development and in
Possible spelling mistake. 'recognising' is British English.
recognising
inner
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
equally
indulge in other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
as studies.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
You can never understand one language until you understand at least two.
Geoffrey Willans

IELTS essay Some people believe that children's leisure activities must be educational, otherwise they are a complete waste of time. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
282 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts