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Some people believe that children’s leisure activities must be educational otherwise they are a complete waste of time. Do you agree or disagree v.11

Some people believe that children’s leisure activities must be educational otherwise they are a complete waste of time. v. 11
Humans learn and progress by every single activity they perform, irrespective of its kind. Leisureliness undertakings are meant to perform without any bondage so as putative by many that it must be edifying or else it is well-thought-out to despise. In my opinion, I disagree with the fact that the time-out period should be educational. It is obvious that mind developing actions do provide us with some valuable result, but a surge in anything also loses its value. Free space is in accordance without any condition to relaxation of brain, and furthermore it implies to the natural ability of an individual. Moreover it stifles the physical movement which is essential for bodily functioning. For instance, if chess or solving a cube is played in free past decimates body agility rather producing a mental stress level of thinking. Furthermore when they are left unleash in a park with their fellow people involves fundamental instincts through basic skills like running, jumping, climbing trees, and various other pass times, enhances their fitness which is likewise essential. Moreover it also develops children to think when no task is given to them, actuating them to act independently. For example random playing with friends implicates bonding, internal ability to follow when not prompted, and also contentment. To sum up, we have seen that relaxation time is provided to brood for a purpose to utilize it for their own pleasure, which, if undone by cognitive task, detriments their spontaneous ability and leads them to dependence. So I conclude that, it is never a waste of past to relax and have fun and let education be in the academics.
Humans learn and progress by every single activity they perform, irrespective of its kind. Leisureliness undertakings
are meant
to perform without any bondage
so
as putative by
many
that it
must
be edifying or else it is well-
thought
-out to despise. In my opinion, I
disagree with the fact that
the time-out period should be educational.

It is obvious that mind developing actions do provide us with
some
valuable result,
but
a surge in anything
also
loses its value. Free space is in accordance without any condition to relaxation of brain, and
furthermore
it implies to the natural ability of an individual.
Moreover
it stifles the physical movement which is essential for
bodily
functioning.
For instance
, if chess or solving a cube
is played
in free past decimates body agility
rather
producing a mental
stress
level of thinking.

Furthermore
when they are
left
unleash in a park with their fellow
people
involves
fundamental instincts through basic
skills
like running, jumping, climbing trees, and various other pass times, enhances their fitness which is
likewise
essential.
Moreover
it
also
develops children to
think
when no task is
given
to them, actuating them to act
independently
.
For example
random playing with friends implicates bonding, internal ability to follow when not prompted, and
also
contentment.

To sum up, we have
seen
that relaxation time
is provided
to brood for a purpose to utilize it for their
own
pleasure, which, if undone by cognitive task, detriments their spontaneous ability and leads them to dependence.
So
I conclude that, it is never a waste of past to relax and have fun and
let
education be in the academics.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that children’s leisure activities must be educational otherwise they are a complete waste of time. v. 11

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
271 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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