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In some countries, governments are encouraging industries and businesses to move to regional areas outside the big cities. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages? v.4

In some countries, governments are encouraging industries and businesses to move to regional areas outside the big cities. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages? v. 4
According to authorities of vast countries, it is better to industries and trade to move to the suburb of the agricultural place of the cities. I am in favour of that although, this trend has minor drawbacks, the positive outcomes certainly overweigh them. The first main reason to show that the government might be innovated policy which tends to be expanding basic infrastructure in the rural. That is to say that they will have four more years to perfect their foundation and it will seem to avert rural depopulation. For example, in countries such as choir province, where is any scarcity country dweller in the recent decade year, has already enhanced. Moreover, rural unemployment is the most significant concern in the cities, and most manufactories drift toward urban as soon as the city restructure displaced. Finally, it aids the decreasing of traffic bottleneck inasmuch is the insoluble problem in many people's day-to-day lives (for instance) metropolitan city's population couldn't more active ways of lifestyle and cycle to work. On the flip side, industries and businesses may face some challenges during early stages of transition. Moving to an area with low demand will not be profitable for them: However, businesses can still have offices in cities to develop business, while relocating their plants and manufacturing facilities to regional areas. On the balance fact that the advantages of transferring industries and trades to regional areas clearly outweigh any drawbacks. As long as businesses are acclimatized, communities in big cities and local areas will boost from this change as well.
According to authorities of vast countries, it is better to industries and trade to
move
to the suburb of the agricultural place of the
cities
. I am in
favour
of that although, this trend has minor drawbacks, the
positive
outcomes
certainly
overweigh
them.

The
first
main reason to
show
that the
government
might
be innovated
policy which tends to be expanding basic infrastructure in the rural.
That is
to say that they will have four more years to perfect their foundation and it will seem to avert rural depopulation.
For example
, in countries such as choir province, where is any scarcity country dweller in the recent decade year, has already enhanced.
Moreover
, rural unemployment is the most significant concern in the
cities
, and most
manufactories
drift toward urban as
soon
as the city restructure displaced.
Finally
, it aids the decreasing of traffic bottleneck inasmuch is the insoluble problem in
many
people
's day-to-day
lives
(
for instance
) metropolitan city's population couldn't more active ways of lifestyle and cycle to work.

On the flip side, industries and
businesses
may face
some
challenges during early stages of transition. Moving to an area with low demand will not be profitable for them:
However
,
businesses
can
still
have offices in
cities
to develop
business
, while relocating their plants and manufacturing facilities to regional areas.

On the balance fact that the advantages of transferring industries and trades to regional areas
clearly
outweigh any drawbacks. As long as
businesses
are acclimatized
, communities in
big
cities
and local areas will boost from this
change
as well
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay In some countries, governments are encouraging industries and businesses to move to regional areas outside the big cities. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages? v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
257 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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