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Some people say that it is possible to tell a lot about a person's culture and character from their choice of clothes. do you agree or disagree? v.2

Some people say that it is possible to tell a lot about a person's culture and character from their choice of clothes. v. 2
As we enter the 21st century, despite the fact the advancement in technology and including other major earthly changes that have taken place, still in many parts of the world culture and norms have remained constant. It is wildly believed that culture dictates a lot about how an individual actually is and how they should dress up. However, it is also criticized by many who believe that the way of dressing can be adopted by anyone and has nothing to do with a person’s character or culture. Internet has given the masses an opportunity to learn about other countries culture and how it reflects their dressing sense and their characters. For instance, in Pakistan no matter how liberal anyone is or lives in a secular societies they have certain dressing code which reflects their norms and teaching of the religion and people are judged on the basis of their dressing. Furthermore, you can take example of other nations like USA where the population is very diversified and allowed to wear any sort of clothes and nobody will judge about anyone’s culture or values based on their attire. In light of that, societal values do leave an impact on individuals dressing sense but not on in every part of the world, some societies follow their culture very thoroughly while others do not pay much heed to it. Although there are arguments about how dressing of clothes does not dictate a person’s culture which I disagree with, the fact how you can not determine someone’s character based on their choice of clothes or fashion is something I deem to be correct. In conclusion, culture wildly effects the attire of people, but a character of human beings cannot be determined through their wearing habits.
As we enter the 21st century, despite the fact the advancement in technology and including
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
major
earthly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
that have taken place,
still
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
parts of the world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
and norms have remained constant. It is
wildly
believed that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
dictates a lot about how an individual actually is and how they should dress up.
However
, it is
also
criticized by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
who believe that the way of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dressing
can
be adopted
by anyone and has nothing to do with a person’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
character
or culture.

Internet has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
the masses an opportunity to learn about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
countries
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
and how it reflects their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dressing
sense and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
characters
.
For instance
, in Pakistan no matter how liberal anyone is or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in a secular
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "society"?
societies
they have certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dressing
code which reflects their norms and teaching of the religion and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are judged
on the basis of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dressing
.
Furthermore
, you can take example of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
nations
A determiner is probably missing here: "like the USA".
like USA
where the population is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
diversified and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to wear any sort of clothes and nobody will judge about anyone’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
or values based on their attire. In light of that, societal values do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
an impact on individuals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dressing
sense
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not on in every part of the world,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
societies follow their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
thoroughly
while others do not pay much heed to it.

Although there are arguments about how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dressing
of clothes does not dictate a person’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
which I disagree with, the fact how you can not determine someone’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
character
based on their choice of clothes or fashion is something I deem to be correct.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
wildly
effects the attire of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
character
of human beings cannot
be determined
through their wearing habits.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
He who knows no foreign languages know nothing of his own.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

IELTS essay Some people say that it is possible to tell a lot about a person's culture and character from their choice of clothes. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
291 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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