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In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.2

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. v. 2
Due to rapid urbanisation, transportation is closely related to people’s daily lives. In order to build convenient transportation systems, many think that it is necessary for the government to construct numerous high-speed railways. Fast trains can enhance commuters’ travel efficiency and improve connections between cities. However, others think improving current public transportation is more important since it can serve more local citizens. On the one hand, it is reasonable for the government to put emphasis on building fast trains between cities. Nowadays, people live further away from city centres because of the low cost of accommodation and daily expenses. Therefore, compared to private cars, the fast trains between cities can help dwellers save a large amount of time on the road. In addition, commuters also do not need to worry about traffic jams and car accidents. If they drive on the highway to travel to another city, they need to fully concentrate on their driving speed, wait for traffic lights and prevent traffic accidents. On the other hand, some people argue that constructing high-speed trains does not have short-term advantages. Fast trains are expensive and not beneficial for large scale usage by citizens. Therefore, the government should put more efforts and revenue into the improvement of preexisting public transportation. For instance, the government can add more public transportation routes to suburban areas outside of the cities. It can also manage to build a pleasant and comfortable environment for passengers. As a result, it is a practical way to encourage more people to take public transportation. The fewer number of private cars, the less toxic and harmful emissions will be. In conclusion, I think in the metropolis, the government should invest equally in the fast rail system and public transportation. However, it is also reasonable for the authorities to invest more money into existing public transportation, especially in small cities.
Due to rapid
Possible spelling mistake. 'urbanisation' is British English.
urbanisation
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
is
closely
related to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
daily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. In order to build convenient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
systems,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is necessary for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
to construct numerous high-speed railways.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
can enhance commuters’ travel efficiency and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
connections between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
However
, others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
improving
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
since it can serve more local citizens.

On the one hand, it is reasonable for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
to put emphasis on building
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
further
away from city
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the low cost of accommodation and daily expenses.
Therefore
, compared to private cars, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
dwellers save a large amount of time on the road.
In addition
, commuters
also
do not need to worry about traffic jams and car accidents. If they drive on the highway to travel to another city, they need to
fully
concentrate on their driving speed, wait for traffic lights and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
traffic accidents.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that constructing high-speed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
does not have short-term advantages.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
are expensive and not beneficial for large scale usage by citizens.
Therefore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should put more efforts and revenue into the improvement of preexisting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
.
For instance
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
routes to suburban areas
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "outside".
outside of
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. It can
also
manage to build a pleasant and comfortable environment for passengers.
As a result
, it is a practical way to encourage more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
. The fewer number of private cars, the less toxic and harmful emissions will be.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
in the metropolis, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should invest
equally
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
rail system and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
.
However
, it is
also
reasonable for the authorities to invest more money into existing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
,
especially
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
17Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
38Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
309 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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