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some people believe that children should be given lessons on how to manage money in the school Do you agree or disagree? v.1

some people believe that children should be given lessons on how to manage money in the school v. 1
Contemporary school curriculum includes enormous ethical and moral values along with teaching about various life skills. While some individuals deem that lectures ought to be provided regarding proper allocation of finance in classrooms, others do not think so. This essay will distinctly enunciates innumerable reasons why guidance related to management of financial resources will be beneficial for learners. Managing money is a crucial life skill owing to its extraordinary importance in the materialistic world. Learning significant advantages and methods of proper utilization at an early age will definitely help to diminish the problems in future. Moreover, lessons on how financial resources should be utilized will give a prerequisite knowledge for overcoming great challenges of life. Information about basic terminologies of money and methods of investment escalates interest of children. Consequently, wastage of money can minimize up to some extent. The empirical evidence from mintel, the research organization shows that despite mental pressure and burden of studies, children attend money management lectures and their enthusiasm reaches its zenith. Receiving valuable lectures will support to alleviate the expenditure and demands by teenagers. Children often have extraordinary demands from their parents due to their susceptible behavior for the things which are not essential for them and therefore delivering seminars related to importance of money and its proper allocation will help to mitigate the expenditures and unsuitable demands. In addition to this, children will understand the diligence done by their parents to earn a comfortable lifestyle and hence improve the relationships. For example, a survey was conducted based on 1000 people found that proportion who look for special management life skills classes had climbed from 43 % in 2015 to 56 % in 2017, especially among teenagers. For becoming more responsible and less demanding, children should be encouraged to learn money management skill in the school. Considering beneficial ramifications and supporting such practices will definitely provide merits to the individuals in general and the nations in particular.
Contemporary school curriculum includes enormous ethical and moral values along with teaching about various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals deem that lectures ought to
be provided
regarding proper allocation of finance in classrooms, others do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
. This essay will
distinctly
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "enunciate"
enunciates
innumerable reasons why guidance related to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
management
of financial resources will be beneficial for learners.

Managing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is a crucial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
owing to its extraordinary importance in the materialistic world. Learning significant advantages and methods of proper utilization at an early age will definitely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to diminish the problems
Did you mean: "in the future"?
in future
.
Moreover
, lessons on how financial resources should
be utilized
will give
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "prerequisite knowledge".
a prerequisite knowledge
for overcoming great challenges of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. Information about basic terminologies of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and methods of investment escalates interest of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
Consequently
, wastage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
can minimize up to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent. The empirical evidence from
Possible spelling mistake found.
mintel
, the research organization
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that despite mental pressure and burden of studies,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
attend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
management
lectures and their enthusiasm reaches its zenith.

Receiving valuable lectures will support to alleviate the expenditure and demands by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
have extraordinary demands from their parents due to their susceptible behavior for the things which are not essential for them and
therefore
delivering seminars related to importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and its proper allocation will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to mitigate the expenditures and unsuitable demands.
In addition
to this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will understand the diligence done by their parents to earn a comfortable lifestyle and
hence
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the relationships.
For example
, a survey
was conducted
based on 1000
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
found that proportion who look for special
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
management
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
classes had climbed from 43 % in 2015 to 56 % in 2017,
especially
among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
.

For becoming more responsible and less demanding,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
be encouraged
to learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
management
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
in the school. Considering beneficial ramifications and supporting such practices will definitely provide merits to the individuals
in general
and the nations
in particular
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay some people believe that children should be given lessons on how to manage money in the school v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
323 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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