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Some people believe that children should be allowed to stay at home and play until they are six or seven years old Others believe that is important for young children to go to school as soon as possible What do you think are the advantages of attending sc v.6

Some people believe that children should be allowed to stay at home and play until they are six or seven years old Others believe that is important for young children to go to school as soon as possible What do you think are the advantages of attending sc v. 6
It is commonly suggested that sites for social networks such as Facebook have impacted negatively on individuals and the society. While i agree that it has had a harmful effect on the society, for individuals, it has been beneficial. On the one hand, social networks have enabled people to express their views about events around them. Through sites like Facebook, Instagram and Twitter, individuals share information about current issues and reveal their personal opinions, which others can learn from. For instance, a renowned environmentalist recently attributed the success of his environmental campaigns on young Nigerians to his Facebook posts. This reveals the fact that many people have been positively impacted by social networking sites. However, the relationship in the society have been adversely affected by social networking sites. This occurs because many people have become preoccupied with such websites, which has limited face-to-face interactions in many communities. For example, in an effort to keep in touch with friends and like minds on the social media, many teenagers in Nigeria have neglected their loved ones and neighbours resulting in disharmony in the society. This is a deleterious consequence of social networking websites on the society, which is currently being experienced. In conclusion, although social networks have made it possible for people to be informed about happening around them and to reveal their ideas to a wide audience, It has a negative effect on relationships in the society. The public should be educated about this view to guide them towards ensuring harmony in various communities.
It is
commonly
suggested that sites for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networks such as Facebook have impacted
negatively
on individuals and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. While
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that it has had a harmful effect on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
, for individuals, it has been beneficial.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networks have enabled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to express their views about
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
around them. Through sites like Facebook, Instagram and Twitter, individuals share information about
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
issues and reveal their personal opinions, which others can learn from.
For instance
, a renowned environmentalist recently attributed the success of his environmental campaigns on young Nigerians to his Facebook posts. This reveals the fact that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have been
positively
impacted by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking sites.

However
, the relationship in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
have been
adversely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking sites. This occurs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have become preoccupied with such websites, which has limited face-to-face interactions in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
communities.
For example
, in an effort to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
in touch with friends and like minds on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
in Nigeria have neglected their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones and
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbours' is British English.
neighbours
resulting in disharmony in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. This is a deleterious consequence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking websites on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
, which is
currently
being experienced
.

In conclusion
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networks have made it possible for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
be informed
about happening around them and to reveal their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
to a wide audience, It has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect on relationships in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. The public should
be educated
about this view to guide them towards ensuring harmony in various communities.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that children should be allowed to stay at home and play until they are six or seven years old Others believe that is important for young children to go to school as soon as possible What do you think are the advantages of attending sc v. 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
253 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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