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You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. Last month you had a holiday overseas where you stayed with some friends. They have just sent you some photos of your holiday. Write a letter to an English-speaking friend. In your letter: •thank them for the v.23

Last month you had a holiday overseas where you stayed with some friends. They have just sent you some photos of your holiday. Write a letter to an English-speaking friend. In your letter: •thank them for the v. 23
While some people think that foreigners should abide social and cultural norms of the hosting countries, others argue that the hosting countries ought to accept visitors’ behaviour as it is. This essay discusses both sides of the argument and then I will give my own perspective. On one hand, following local customs and behaviour has many benefits for both the visitors and the hosting country. First of all, it encourages visitors to widen their knowledge about the country they are visiting, in addition to expanding their cultural and social awareness. Also, this would give them the opportunity to enrich their experience. Another advantage, is that this approach decreases the chance of misunderstanding between tourists and law enforcement bodies of the hosting countries. Since some of the social norms become laws in some geographic areas. For example, in Saudi Arabia it is illegal to kiss your girlfriend in public. Failing to follow this social norm would not only be inappropriate, it would be illegal. On the other hand, accepting cultural differences between people undoubtedly has its merits. It enables citizens of these countries to learn about different cultures by experiencing them first hand. Moreover, it has the economic benefit of making such countries more appealing to tourists. For instance, after my last road trip around Europe I found myself advising my friends to visit Italy rather than France, because of the welcoming nature of the Italians. In conclusion, in my opinion, although accepting cultural differences has its social and economic advantages, I think that expecting visitors to follow cultural norms should be the case in this matter, because it does not allow room for misunderstanding, in addition to its learning benefits on a personal level. However, some leeway from the hosting countries, in this matter, could help to take advantage of the economic and social benefits.
While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that foreigners should abide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
norms
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hosting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, others argue that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hosting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
ought to accept
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors’
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
as it is. This essay discusses both sides of the argument and then I will give my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
perspective.

On one hand, following local customs and
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
for both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hosting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, it encourages
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
to widen their knowledge about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
they are visiting,
in addition
to expanding their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
awareness.
Also
, this would give them the opportunity to enrich their experience. Another advantage, is that this approach decreases the chance of misunderstanding between tourists and law enforcement bodies of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hosting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
“Since” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Since
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
norms
become laws in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
geographic areas.
For example
, in Saudi Arabia it is illegal to kiss your girlfriend in public. Failing to follow this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
norm
would not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be inappropriate, it would be illegal.

On the other hand
, accepting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
differences between
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
undoubtedly
has its merits. It enables citizens of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to learn about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cultures by experiencing them
first
hand.
Moreover
, it has the economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefit
of making such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
more appealing to tourists.
For instance
, after my last road trip around Europe I found myself advising my friends to visit Italy
rather
than France,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the welcoming nature of the Italians.

In conclusion
, in my opinion, although accepting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
differences has its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
and economic advantages, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that expecting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
to follow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
norms
should be the case in this matter,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
room for misunderstanding,
in addition
to its learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
on a personal level.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
leeway from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hosting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, in this matter, could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to take advantage of the economic and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Last month you had a holiday overseas where you stayed with some friends. They have just sent you some photos of your holiday. Write a letter to an English-speaking friend. In your letter: •thank them for the v. 23

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
305 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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