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Some people believe that children should be allowed to stay at home and play until they are six or seven years old. Others believe that is important for young children to go to school as soon as possible. What do you think are the advantages of attending sc v.18

Some people believe that children should be allowed to stay at home and play until they are six or seven years old. Others believe that is important for young children to go to school as soon as possible. What do you think are the advantages of attending sc v. 18
Education is important for individuals to estabish a life in contemporary era. Some people attend school at an age of six; whereas, others go to school at a more early age. Attending school at a yong age is prevalant in China. I think this phenomenon benefits both children and parents. Children have the opportunity to meet enormous peers by attending school in early age. If a child is confined in home, he will have few playmates. However, children play with numerous peers in school. Moreover, child develops familiarity if he attend school at a young age. Child wo first attends school at the age of six or seven years old has difficulty in sitting in a classroom. These children feel uneasy in school and tend to escape from school. Therefore, it is better for children to attend school at an early age. Besides, parents also share the merit of this approach. Parents can liberate themselves from looking after their children all the time and continue to work if their children attend kindergarden at an early age. If a child is kept in home, parents have to sacrifice work to look after it. Once a child is eligible to enroll in a kindergarden, parents can send it to school in the morning and pick it home in the afternoon. Parent can take advantage of this daytime to work as a part-time employee. Thus, parents also enjoy the advantage of children go to school at a young age. To summarize, attending school at an early age has merits. Both children and parents can enjoy the advantage of this approach. Therefore, it is better for children to attend school at an early age. Normally, Chinese child go to kindergarden at he age of three years old.
Education is
important
for individuals to
estabish
a life in contemporary era.
Some
people
attend
school
at an
age
of six; whereas, others go to
school
at a more
early
age
. Attending
school
at a
yong
age
is
prevalant
in China. I
think
this phenomenon benefits both
children
and parents.

Children have the opportunity to
meet
enormous peers by attending
school
in
early
age
. If a
child
is confined
in home, he will have few playmates.
However
,
children
play with numerous peers in
school
.
Moreover
,
child
develops familiarity if he
attend
school
at a young
age
.
Child
wo
first
attends
school
at the
age
of six or seven years
old
has difficulty in sitting in a classroom. These
children
feel uneasy in
school
and tend to escape from
school
.
Therefore
, it is better for
children
to
attend
school
at an
early
age
.
Besides
,
parents
also
share the merit of this approach.

Parents can liberate themselves from looking after their
children
all the time and continue to work if their
children
attend
kindergarden
at an
early
age
. If a
child
is
kept
in home,
parents
have to
sacrifice work to look after it. Once a
child
is eligible to enroll in a
kindergarden
,
parents
can
send
it to
school
in the morning and pick it home in the afternoon.
Parent
can take advantage of this daytime to work as a part-time employee.
Thus
,
parents
also
enjoy the advantage of
children
go to
school
at a young age.

To summarize
, attending
school
at an
early
age
has merits. Both
children
and
parents
can enjoy the advantage of this approach.
Therefore
, it is better for
children
to
attend
school
at an
early
age
.
Normally
, Chinese
child
go to
kindergarden
at he
age
of three years
old
.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
58Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that children should be allowed to stay at home and play until they are six or seven years old. Others believe that is important for young children to go to school as soon as possible. What do you think are the advantages of attending sc v. 18

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
293 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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