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Some people believe that children should be allowed to stay at home and play until they are six or seven years old Others believe that is important for young children to go to school as soon as possible What do you think are the advantages of attending sc v.17

Some people believe that children should be allowed to stay at home and play until they are six or seven years old Others believe that is important for young children to go to school as soon as possible What do you think are the advantages of attending sc v. 17
As a matter of fact, there are several conceptions of children' s education hitherto. Some parents suppose that children ought to stay at home and enjoy their childhood until school age. Whereas on the opposite side, others assume that the youngsters have to join a school as soon as possible. With regard to the first opinion, the supporters might ground their argument in some benefits of stay-at-home kids. Firstly, when the children spend most of their time at home with their family, it will strengthen the family bond and create close-knit relationships between youngsters with other family members. Secondly, that parents don’t want to put their offspring under the academic pressure prematurely. Therefore, they prefer to keep the children at home so that they can completely enjoy their childhood. By contrast, there are several other parents who want to send their kids to the kindergarten or primary school as soon as possible. In point of fact, they are mostly busy parents, who devote a huge amount of time to work, therefore they can’t spend time looking after and play with their offspring. In that case, the optimal solution is sending the children to school in which they can make friends and take part in more interactive activities instead of leading a sedentary lifestyle at home. Moreover, the sooner the youngsters enter school, the easier they can adapt to the educational environment and might have better academic results afterward. From my perspective, I can see the point of both views and suppose that it will depend on the condition of the family to figure out when is the most suitable time for children to attend school. If the parents are able to spend time taking good care of and educate them, I believe there is no need to send them soon. However, if it’s impossible for some parents, the children should participate in a school, maybe commencing with some part-time classes. Furthermore, it’s vital in choosing the school carefully. It will avoid putting the children at risk of abuse or mistreatment. In conclusion, the time for children to enter school might be flexible and depend on the situation of each family because whether is soon or not it will have some specific advantages respectively.
As a matter of fact, there are several conceptions of
Possible spelling mistake found.
children&
#039; s education hitherto.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
suppose that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
ought to stay at home and enjoy their childhood until
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
age. Whereas on the opposite side, others assume that the youngsters
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
soon
as possible.

With regard to the
first
opinion, the supporters might ground their argument in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits of stay-at-home kids.
Firstly
, when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
spend most of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
at home with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, it will strengthen the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
bond and create close-knit relationships between youngsters with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members.
Secondly
, that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
don’t want to put their offspring under the academic pressure
prematurely
.
Therefore
, they prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
at home
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can completely enjoy their childhood.

By contrast, there are several other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
who want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
their kids to the kindergarten or primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
soon
as possible. In point of fact, they are
mostly
busy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
, who devote a huge amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to work,
therefore
they can’t spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
looking after and play with their offspring.
In that case
, the optimal solution is sending the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
in which they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
friends and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in more interactive activities
instead
of leading a sedentary lifestyle at home.
Moreover
, the sooner the youngsters enter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, the easier they can adapt to the educational environment and might have better academic results afterward.

From my perspective, I can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the point of both views and suppose that it will depend on the condition of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
to figure out when is the most suitable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to attend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are able to spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
taking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
care of and educate them, I believe there is no need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
soon
.
However
, if it’s impossible for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should participate in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, maybe commencing with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
part-time classes.
Furthermore
, it’s vital in choosing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
carefully
. It will avoid putting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of abuse or mistreatment.

In conclusion
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to enter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
might be flexible and depend on the situation of each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
whether is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
soon
or not it will have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
specific advantages
respectively
.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
39Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that children should be allowed to stay at home and play until they are six or seven years old Others believe that is important for young children to go to school as soon as possible What do you think are the advantages of attending sc v. 17

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
373 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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