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Some people believe that cellphones are harmful to the children while others disagree. Discuss and give your opinion. v.1

Some people believe that cellphones are harmful to the children while others disagree. Discuss and give your opinion. v. 1
Mobile phones can be considered as one of the greatest inventions of mankind. According to one pool of thoughts, it has negative effects on kids due to umpteen reasons while others have opposite viewpoint. This essay shall elaborate both the sides along with my opinion in forthcoming paragraphs. To embark, in this rat-race competitive world, parents are working and so kids are not monitored. Hence they use their phones entire day and get addicted to it. Owing to the overuse, this addiction has many disadvantages. Firstly, they can easily access adult contents online intentionally or unintentionally. This can make them antisocial and they can indulge in wrongful acts. According to a survey, juvenile delinquency can be attributed to the bad influence of adult content available on the internet in modern times. Secondly, these kids get swayed away and play mobile games for hours and hours, which leads to weakening eyesight and distraction from studies. As a result, their grades will be affected. Moreover, some games have violent content and can lead to mental instability. To illustrate, many cases have been reported worldwide, where tender minds suffer from psychological issues due to aggressive and manipulative games. Few cases of suicide were also reported. On the other hand, mobiles serve as a great source of knowledge and information if used appropriately. Nowadays, a lot of websites are informative and several apps have been designed so that young minds can imbibe knowledge. To exemplify, Byjus app is built to assist students to better understand their lessons and theories. To conclude, I believe the drawbacks of mobile phones supersede the benefits and are certainly hazardous to the overall development of a child. However if a child is given to use it under surveillance to enhance their knowledge, can be fruitful for him or her.
Mobile phones can
be considered
as one of the greatest inventions of mankind. According to one pool of thoughts, it has
negative
effects on kids due to umpteen reasons while others have opposite viewpoint. This essay shall elaborate both the sides along with my opinion in forthcoming paragraphs.

To embark, in this rat-race competitive world, parents are working and
so
kids are not monitored.
Hence
they
use
their phones entire day and
get
addicted to it. Owing to the overuse, this addiction has
many
disadvantages.
Firstly
, they can
easily
access adult contents online
intentionally
or
unintentionally
. This can
make
them
antisocial and
they can indulge in wrongful acts. According to a survey, juvenile delinquency can
be attributed
to the
bad
influence of adult content available on the internet in modern times.
Secondly
, these kids
get
swayed away and play mobile games for hours and hours, which leads to weakening eyesight and distraction from studies.
As a result
, their grades will be
affected
.
Moreover
,
some
games have violent content and can lead to mental instability. To illustrate,
many
cases have
been reported
worldwide, where tender minds suffer from psychological issues due to aggressive and manipulative games. Few cases of suicide were
also
reported.

On the other hand
, mobiles serve as a great source of knowledge and information if
used
appropriately
. Nowadays,
a lot of
websites are informative and several apps have
been designed
so
that young minds can imbibe knowledge. To exemplify,
Byjus
app
is built
to assist students to better understand their lessons and theories.

To conclude
, I believe the drawbacks of mobile phones supersede the benefits and are
certainly
hazardous to the
overall
development of a child.
However
if a child is
given
to
use
it under surveillance to enhance their knowledge, can be fruitful for him or her.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that cellphones are harmful to the children while others disagree. Discuss and give your opinion. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
300 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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