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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is more difficult to educate children today than it was in the past because they spend so much time on cellphones, online games, and social networking Web sites. v.148

It is more difficult to educate children today than it was in the past because they spend so much time on cellphones, online games, and social networking Web sites. v. 148
Based on the above said task statement, I agree to the fact that fashion has become a major choice for all classes of people irrespective of their living standards. It is always a common observation that everybody needs to wear very fashionable dresses so that they are liked or they can showcase their lifestyle. If fashion is taken into consideration, there can be a lot of influential factors. Firstly, the mode of life and different ways which people advance to the future due to technological disruption can be the reason for more fashionable attires. Nowadays, more people are getting skilled jobs therefore their outfits also matches their work that they are supposed to do. For example, software companies don’t have any dress code which enables their employees to decide on their dress sense which suits their considerations. In this century, being fashionable has been a culture throughout the entire society. It is totally up to an individual perspective that to be in smart fit or otherwise. A fashionable outfit always creates an added advantage to his/her lifestyle since an individual become more presentable, modest in their attitude and own their self. On the other hand, fashion can create a lavish lifestyle, making a person to spend more thereby ending in debts. In conclusion, being in the best outfit is that really matters, not being fashionable. A person should be tidy, well-groomed and must be presentable. In my opinion, wearing a fashionable dress doesn't give any value addition but being kind and helpful in their modest character is always like a jewel in the crown.
Based on the above said task statement, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
to the fact that fashion has become a major choice for all classes of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
irrespective of their living standards. It is always a common observation that everybody needs to wear
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashionable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dresses
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they are
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
liked or
they can showcase their lifestyle.

If fashion
is taken
into consideration, there can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
influential factors.
Firstly
, the mode of life and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ways which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
advance to the future due to technological disruption can be the reason for more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashionable
attires. Nowadays, more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are getting skilled jobs
therefore
their outfits
also
matches their work that they
are supposed
to do.
For example
, software
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
don’t have any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dress
code which enables their employees to decide on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dress
sense which suits their considerations.

In this century, being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashionable
has been a culture throughout the entire society. It is
totally
up to an individual perspective that to be in smart fit or
otherwise
. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashionable
outfit always creates an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
advantage to his/her lifestyle since an individual become more presentable, modest in their attitude and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
their self.
On the other hand
, fashion can create a lavish lifestyle, making a person to spend more thereby ending in debts.

In conclusion
, being in the best outfit is that
really
matters, not being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashionable
. A person should be tidy, well-groomed and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be presentable. In my opinion, wearing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashionable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dress
doesn't give any value addition
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
being kind and helpful in their modest character is always like a jewel in the crown.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay It is more difficult to educate children today than it was in the past because they spend so much time on cellphones, online games, and social networking Web sites. v. 148

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
264 words
7.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is more difficult to educate children today than it was in the past because they spend so much time on cellphones, online games, and social networking Web sites. v.148