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Some people believe that capital punishment should never be used. Others, however, argue that it should be allowed for the most serious crimes. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.2

Some people believe that capital punishment should never be used. Others, however, argue that it should be allowed for the most serious crimes. v. 2
Some argue that major punishment should never be used while others believe that it can be allowed for the gravest of crimes. This essay agrees that the penalty for serious offences should be permissible because it is the only way to give a strong message to those who think of committing serious crimes. This essay will discuss both points of view. Criminals who have been involved in major offences such as kidnapping and murder should be dealt with very seriously. The penalty for such acts of violence should be swift and severe. This will send a strong message to the people of a country. It will remind them that the consequences are harsh and this will in turn prevent them from engaging in such felonies. For example, in the Middle-Eastern countries such as Saudi Arabia and the United Arab Emirates, the punishment for murder is immediate death. However, some disagree and feel that capital punishment should not be practised. Human life is precious and considered to be a gift of God. Some people believe that taking someone’s life is a very barbaric thing to do, no matter what the reason is. Additionally, in the case of major felonies, some feel that the convicted person should be given another chance to prove to be a better human being. For example, James Arthur, who is currently 32 years old, was sentenced to 7 years of imprisonment in 2013 for the murder of an innocent woman. A few years back, the court announced that James’ imprisonment term has been reduced to 5 years. Now, James is working as an office administrator and he has proved to be a good citizen of the country. In conclusion, while it may sometimes be harsh to sentence a convict to a serious offence such as death, it is necessary to send a strong message to the people of a nation and make it clear to them that such acts will be heavily penalized. Thus, this will not only maintain law and order in a country, but will also greatly reduce the crime rate. In my opinion, while both arguments have their merits, I believe that capital penalties must be used to ensure the safety of a county.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
argue that major punishment should never be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
while others believe that it can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
for the gravest of crimes. This essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
that the penalty for serious
Possible spelling mistake. 'offences' is British English.
offences
should be permissible
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way to give a strong message to those who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
of committing serious crimes. This essay will discuss both points of view.

Criminals who have
been involved
in major
Possible spelling mistake. 'offences' is British English.
offences
such as kidnapping and murder should
be dealt
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
seriously
. The penalty for such acts of violence should be swift and severe. This will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
a strong message to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of a country. It will remind them that the consequences are harsh and this will in turn
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
them from engaging in such felonies.
For example
, in the Middle-Eastern countries such as Saudi Arabia and the United Arab Emirates, the punishment for murder is immediate death.

However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disagree and feel that capital punishment should not be
Possible spelling mistake. 'practised' is British English.
practised
. Human life is precious and considered to be a gift of God.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that taking someone’s life is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
barbaric thing to do, no matter what the reason is.
Additionally
, in the case of major felonies,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
feel that the convicted person should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
another chance to prove to be a better human being.
For example
, James Arthur, who is
currently
32 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
,
was sentenced
to 7 years of imprisonment in 2013 for the murder of an innocent woman. A few years back, the court announced that James’ imprisonment term has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
to 5 years.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
, James is working as an office
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
administrator and
he has proved to be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
citizen of the country.

In conclusion
, while it may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
be harsh to sentence a convict to a serious
Possible spelling mistake. 'offence' is British English.
offence
such as death, it is necessary to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
a strong message to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of a nation and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
to them that such acts will be
heavily
penalized.
Thus
, this will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
maintain law and order in a country,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
will
also
greatly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the crime rate. In my opinion, while both arguments have their merits, I believe that capital penalties
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to ensure the safety of a county.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that capital punishment should never be used. Others, however, argue that it should be allowed for the most serious crimes. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
370 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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