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Some people believe that all the company decisions should be taken by the managers whereas others think it is better to include employees while making decisions. Discuss both the points and give your opinion. v.5

Some people believe that all the company decisions should be taken by the managers whereas others think it is better to include employees while making decisions. v. 5
It is often be seen through observation that most employees think that opinions should, not to mention must be taken into consideration not only by the supervisors but by the whole organization, itself. However, on the other hand, there are many who believe that decisions must not be involved with so many people. So in today essays, I'd like to highlight some of the main keys and present my own opinion. First and foremost, it must be stated that a company's success involved a lot of specialized elements, such as trustworthiness and cooperation. One wrong compromise could have a great negative impact on the whole career. Therefor, analysing and making a decision is usually mentioned to as a very crucial element in a successful organization. Secondly, I, personally, believe that judgment could one and only made by extensive or the ones with write permission. They have a vast variety of knowledges and are able to easily access to different source of information. They are more businesslike, and are probably more willing to cope with challenges. In addition to that, a manager would also be able to judge whether something fulfil the company requirement or not. As well as this, they can also specify its potential capabilities in this competitive trade market. HOwever, on the other side, we must accept that in some case, cooperate with the other workers might be better for both the company and the main director. It is notably that by constantly asking and collection opinions from a huge amount of peoples, you are more capable of determining the advantages and disadvantage from one or another. For example, in foreign integration company, the decisions are usually sent to every employee by email and ask if they agree or not. Then, the latest decision will be proposed by the shareholders and later been checked by the main director for approval. This is not only be proved an efficient way but also a great idea not to make employees feel stressed or pressure by revealing their work. To sum up, I think that decision must be seen and had an approval of all members in the company in order to maintain a great connection between each other.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
through observation that most employees
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that opinions should, not to mention
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be taken
into consideration not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
by the supervisors
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
by the whole organization, itself.
However
, on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
who believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
not
be involved
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
essays, I'd like to highlight
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
main keys and present my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
opinion.

First
and foremost, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be stated
that a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
's success involved
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
specialized elements, such as trustworthiness and cooperation. One
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
compromise could have a great
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact
on the whole
career. Therefor,
Possible spelling mistake. 'analysing' is British English.
analysing
and making a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
is
usually
mentioned to as a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
crucial element in a successful organization.
Secondly
, I,
personally
, believe that judgment could one and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
made by extensive or the ones with write permission. They have a vast variety of
Possible spelling mistake found.
knowledges
and are able to
easily
access to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
source of information. They are more businesslike, and are
probably
more willing to cope with challenges.
In addition
to that, a manager would
also
be able to judge whether something fulfil the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
requirement or not.
As well
as this, they can
also
specify its potential capabilities in this competitive trade market.

Possible spelling mistake found.
HOwever
, on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
side, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
accept that in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
case, cooperate with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
workers might be better for both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
and the main director. It is
notably
that by
constantly
asking and collection opinions from a huge amount of peoples, you are more capable of determining the advantages and disadvantage from one or another.
For example
, in foreign integration
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
are
usually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
to every employee by email and ask if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
or not. Then, the latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
will
be proposed
by the shareholders and later been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
checked
by the main director for approval. This is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be proved
an efficient way
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
a great
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
not to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
employees feel
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
or pressure by revealing their work.

To sum up, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
and had an approval of all members in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
in order to maintain a great
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
connection between
each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that all the company decisions should be taken by the managers whereas others think it is better to include employees while making decisions. v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
368 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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