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Some people believe that all the company decisions should be taken by the managers whereas others think it is better to include employees while making decisions. Discuss both the points and give your opinion. v.4

Some people believe that all the company decisions should be taken by the managers whereas others think it is better to include employees while making decisions. v. 4
It is often argued by some that in most of the corporation opinions are decided by the supervisors, while others opine that it is more excellent to involve the team members when they make the judgment. Whilst a discussion of both these views is worthwhile, I am a supporter of the latter view. On the one hand, deciding the organisational decisions by the directors aid to improve the company's growth. In other words, they will know how to deal with the customer to get the business and complete the project as per the schedule. For example, in most of the multinational companies, the deciding factor for any of the tasks is made by the managers in order to fulfil the requirements of the company and make it be reputed concern in this competitive world. However, I do not support this notion because the workers will be pressurized when their boss taking the decisions without knowing the real fact about the capability of completing the work. On the other hand, involving the staff members during the decision making helps to understand the nature of the task in a better method. That is to say that employees have the hands-on experience on a particular task and if they were included it will aid to provide an excellent result in the work. For instance, people in the team know the criticality of the project and they will have new ideas to complete the task on time without any slippage in their timelines. In my opinion, I believe that including the members of their board while taking any decisions will aid to gain knowledge about the project and also come up with new ideas to develop the company. In conclusion, although it is believed by some that the company's decisions should be decided by the controller because it helps in the growth of the conglomerates, I think that including the members of the group will aid in better understanding of the work and provide meaningful thought for the betterment of the group.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that in most of the corporation opinions
are decided
by the supervisors, while others opine that it is more excellent to involve the team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the judgment. Whilst a discussion of both these views is worthwhile, I am a supporter of the latter view.

On the one hand, deciding the
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisational' is British English.
organisational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
by the directors
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aid
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
's growth.
In other words
, they will know how to deal with the customer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the business and complete the project as per the schedule.
For example
, in most of the multinational
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
, the deciding factor for any of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tasks
is made
by the managers in order to fulfil the requirements of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it
be reputed
concern in this competitive world.
However
, I do not support this notion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the workers will
be pressurized
when their boss taking the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
without knowing the real fact about the capability of completing the work.

On the other hand
, involving the staff
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
during the
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
decision making
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to understand the nature of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
task
in a better method.
That is
to say that employees have the hands-on experience on a particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
task
and if they
were included
it will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aid
to provide an excellent result in the work.
For instance
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the team know the criticality of the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
project and
they will have new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
to complete the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
task
on time without any slippage in their timelines. In my opinion, I believe that including the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
of their board while taking any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aid
to gain knowledge about the project and
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
up with new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
to develop the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.

In conclusion
, although it
is believed
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
should
be decided
by the controller
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in the growth of the conglomerates, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that including the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
of the group will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aid
in better understanding of the work and provide meaningful
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
for the betterment of the group.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that all the company decisions should be taken by the managers whereas others think it is better to include employees while making decisions. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
338 words
8.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • Some people believe that all the company decisions should be taken by the managers whereas others think it is better to include employees while making decisions. Discuss both the points and give your opinion. v.4