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Some people believe that all the company decisions should be taken by the managers whereas others think it is better to include employees while making decisions Discuss both the points and give your opinion v.2

Some people believe that all the company decisions should be taken by the managers whereas others think it is better to include employees while making decisions 2
TECHNOLOGY PLAYS A VITAL ROLE IN INDIVIDUAL'S EVERYDAY LIVES. ARRANGING GET TO GATHER HAS BEEN BECAME AN EXTINCT NOWADAYS DUE TO INVENTION OF SOCIAL MEDIA LIKE, WHAT'S APP, FACEBOOK APPLICATION AND SO ON. THIS INOVATION HAS HAD DEVASTING EFFECTS ON THEIR LIVES. THE FOLLOWING ESSAY WILL CONCURE PARTIALLY WITH ABOVE NOTION DUE TO VARIOUS REASONS WHICH I WILL DISCUSS BELLOW. FIRST OF ALL, THE MAIN REASON IS THAT COMMINICATION HAS BECAME FAST THEN BEFORE DUE TO THIS DEVELOPMENT. TO ELABORATE, WITH HELP OF THE INTERNET IT IS POSSIBLE TO REACH TO ANOTHER PERSON IN A SECOND OF TIME, THAT WAS NOT ACCESIBLE INN THE PAST. FOR AN EXAMPLE, IF ONE HAS TO TALK TO HIS FRIENDS OR SEE THEM THEN NOW JUST HAVE TO DO VIDEO CALL FROM SOCIAL MEDIA SITES. THERE IS NO NEED TO WASTE TIME BY GOING OUTSIDE OR INVITE THEM TO YOUR HOME TO MEET THEM. ON THE OTHER HAND, THIS INOVATION DO HAVE A DEVASTING EFFECTS ON AN INDIVIDUAL'S PERSONAL AND SOCIAL LIFES. THE PRIME EFFECT IS THAT PEOPLE ARE BEING MOPRE AND MORE INTROVERT BY MEETING OR CONVERSING THROUGH MESSAGES OR THE VIDEO-CALLS. THIS IS WHY THE BENEFITS OF GOING AND MEETING HAVE BEEN DECREASED A LOT. FOR AN INSTANCE, RESEARCHERS HAVE SHOWN THAT SOCIAL VAKUES ALSO DIMINISHING DAY BAY BECAUE OF THE LACKE OF INFORMATION INTERCANHGING WITH OTHERS. THIS IS ALSO DUE TO SPENDIN MORE TIME ON THE SOCIAL MEDIA. HOWEVER, THECHNOLOGY HAS MADE THE WORLD EXPLORATION POSSIBLE. THUS WE COULD NOW ABLE TO COMMUNICATE OR EVEN EXPAND THE BUSINESS IN THE FOREIGN COUNTRY. TO SUM UP, AS PER THE NATURE'S LAW, EVERYTHING HAS OPTIMISTIC AND PESSIMISTIC EFFECTS BUT IT IS DEPENDS ON THE INDIVIDUAL TO CHOOSE THE CORRECT WAY OF INTERACTION TO INCREASE THE BOND IN BETWEEN BASED ON THE CIRCUMSTANCES. ONCE A PERSON LEARNS THIS THECHNIQUE, NEGETIVE INFLUENCES WILL REDUCED TO SOME EXTENT.
TECHNOLOGY PLAYS A VITAL ROLE IN INDIVIDUAL'S EVERYDAY
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
LIVES
. ARRANGING
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
GET
TO GATHER HAS BEEN
Consider using a past participle here: "become".
BECAME
AN EXTINCT NOWADAYS
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
DUE
TO INVENTION OF
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
SOCIAL
MEDIA LIKE, WHAT'S APP, FACEBOOK APPLICATION AND
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
SO
ON. THIS
Possible spelling mistake found.
INOVATION
HAS HAD
Possible spelling mistake found.
DEVASTING
EFFECTS ON THEIR
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
LIVES
. THE FOLLOWING ESSAY WILL
Possible spelling mistake found.
CONCURE
PARTIALLY
WITH ABOVE NOTION
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
DUE
TO VARIOUS REASONS WHICH I WILL DISCUSS BELLOW.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
FIRST OF ALL
, THE MAIN REASON IS THAT
Possible spelling mistake found.
COMMINICATION
HAS
Use past participle here: "become".
BECAME
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
FAST
THEN
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
BEFORE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
DUE
TO THIS DEVELOPMENT. TO ELABORATE, WITH
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
HELP
OF THE INTERNET IT IS POSSIBLE TO REACH TO ANOTHER PERSON IN A SECOND OF TIME, THAT WAS NOT
Possible spelling mistake found.
ACCESIBLE
INN THE PAST. FOR AN EXAMPLE, IF ONE
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
HAS TO
TALK TO HIS FRIENDS OR
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
SEE
THEM THEN
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
NOW
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
JUST
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
HAVE TO
DO VIDEO CALL FROM
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
SOCIAL
MEDIA SITES. THERE IS NO NEED TO WASTE TIME BY GOING OUTSIDE OR INVITE THEM TO YOUR HOME TO
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
MEET
THEM.

ON THE OTHER HAND
, THIS
Possible spelling mistake found.
INOVATION
DO HAVE A
Possible spelling mistake found.
DEVASTING
EFFECTS ON AN INDIVIDUAL'S PERSONAL AND
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
SOCIAL
Possible spelling mistake found.
LIFES
. THE PRIME
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
EFFECT
IS THAT
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
PEOPLE
ARE BEING
Possible spelling mistake found.
MOPRE
AND MORE INTROVERT BY MEETING OR CONVERSING THROUGH MESSAGES OR THE VIDEO-CALLS. THIS IS WHY THE BENEFITS OF GOING AND MEETING HAVE
BEEN DECREASED
A LOT. FOR AN INSTANCE, RESEARCHERS HAVE SHOWN THAT
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
SOCIAL
Possible spelling mistake found.
VAKUES
ALSO
DIMINISHING DAY BAY
Possible spelling mistake found.
BECAUE
OF THE
Possible spelling mistake found.
LACKE
OF INFORMATION
Possible spelling mistake found.
INTERCANHGING
WITH OTHERS. THIS IS
ALSO
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
DUE
TO
Possible spelling mistake found.
SPENDIN
MORE TIME ON THE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
SOCIAL
MEDIA.

HOWEVER
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
THECHNOLOGY
HAS MADE THE WORLD EXPLORATION POSSIBLE.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
THUS
WE COULD
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
NOW
ABLE TO COMMUNICATE OR EVEN EXPAND THE BUSINESS IN THE FOREIGN COUNTRY.

TO SUM UP, AS PER THE NATURE'S LAW, EVERYTHING HAS OPTIMISTIC AND PESSIMISTIC EFFECTS
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
BUT
IT IS DEPENDS ON THE INDIVIDUAL TO CHOOSE THE CORRECT WAY OF INTERACTION TO INCREASE THE BOND IN BETWEEN BASED ON THE CIRCUMSTANCES. ONCE A PERSON LEARNS THIS
Possible spelling mistake found.
THECHNIQUE
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
NEGETIVE
INFLUENCES WILL
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
REDUCED
TO
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
SOME
EXTENT.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
As a hawk flieth not high with one wing, even so a man reacheth not to excellence with one tongue.
Roger Ascham

IELTS essay Some people believe that all the company decisions should be taken by the managers whereas others think it is better to include employees while making decisions 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
312 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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