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Foreigners have a tendency to live in the rural area. Give the pros and cons of this and relevant exapmles to support. v.1

Foreigners have a tendency to live in the rural area. Give the pros and cons of this and relevant exapmles to support. v. 1
In this day and age, the number of foreigners who decide to head for rural areas when travelling is on the increase. This composition will focus on the advantages and disadvantages of this trend. On the one hand, rural areas can offer tourists great benefits. First, tourists can save a lot of money when they live in the countryside. Larger cities are often very expensive, while in rural areas everything is affordable. Getting a hotel in the city centre and eating out at prestigious restaurants can quickly make a huge dent in tourists’ holiday budget. However, if they travel at a small town and stay in a guesthouse with a local family, the accommodation costs will be very low. Food is also cheaper due to the availability of fresh vegetables and fruits that they can get directly from farmers. Secondly, life is more relaxing than living in cities. City-dwellers usually have to suffer high levels of stress since they have to face with busy schedules, traffic jams and pollution every day. Meanwhile, those who live in the countryside can enjoy fresh atmosphere, slow-paced lifestyles and have a chance to get close to nature. On the other hand, there are still some drawbacks of living in rural areas. The language barrier is one problem that foreigners may encounter. Most of the rural areas do not have good educational facilities so local people in rural area rarely have an access to foreign languages. Moreover, facilities in rural area are not well developed. Hospitals are hard to find and are not equipped with modern instruments and infrastructure, which is dangerous since foreigners are easily subject to diseases due to changing weather condition. What’s more, if foreigners forget to bring some regular grocery supplies such as a toothbrush or clothe, they will have to go miles as there are very few shops in the vicinity. In conclusion, living in rural areas can offer both advantages and disadvantages to foreigners. From where I stand, the advantages outweigh the cons, thus foreigners should live in rural areas.
In this day and age, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreigners
who decide to head for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
when travelling is on the increase. This composition will focus on the advantages and disadvantages of this trend.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
can offer tourists great benefits.
First
, tourists can save
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
money when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in the countryside. Larger cities are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
expensive, while in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
everything is affordable. Getting a hotel in the city
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
and eating out at prestigious restaurants can
quickly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a huge dent in tourists’ holiday budget.
However
, if they travel at a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
town and stay in a guesthouse with a local family, the accommodation costs will be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
low. Food is
also
cheaper due to the availability of fresh vegetables and fruits that they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
directly
from farmers.
Secondly
, life is more relaxing than living in cities. City-dwellers
usually
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
suffer high levels of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
since they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
face with busy schedules, traffic jams and pollution every day. Meanwhile, those who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in the countryside can enjoy fresh atmosphere, slow-paced lifestyles and have a chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
close to nature.

On the other hand
, there are
still
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks of living in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
. The language barrier is one problem that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreigners
may encounter. Most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
do not have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
educational facilities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
rarely have
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "access".
an access
to foreign languages.
Moreover
, facilities in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
are not
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well developed
. Hospitals are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to find and are not equipped with modern instruments and infrastructure, which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreigners
are
easily
subject to diseases due to changing weather condition. What’s more, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreigners
forget to bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
regular grocery supplies such as a toothbrush or clothe, they will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
go miles as there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
few shops in the vicinity.

In conclusion
, living in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
can offer both advantages and disadvantages to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreigners
. From where I stand, the advantages outweigh the cons,
thus
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreigners
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
We should learn languages because language is the only thing worth knowing even poorly.
Kató Lomb

IELTS essay Foreigners have a tendency to live in the rural area. Give the pros and cons of this and relevant exapmles to support. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
341 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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