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Nowadays many people have access to computers on a wide basis and a large number of children play computer games. What are the negative impacts of playing computer games and what can be done to minimize the bad effects? v.9

Nowadays many people have access to computers on a wide basis and a large number of children play computer games. What are the negative impacts of playing computer games and what can be done to minimize the bad effects? v. 9
With the advancement of information technology, computers have become accessible to everyone, making computer games more convenient and readily available, even for children. However, there are several adverse effects of its overuse, which will be discussed in this essay in detail with some solutions to mitigate their impact. Overplaying computer games can be quite detrimental to the physical growth of children. Long-term entertainment with such games makes them prone to weak eyesight and obesity, leading to some serious complications. Moreover, it also affects their psychological development, making them antisocial, violent or depressive. For instance, a study by U. K Paediatric Association revealed that children who are introduced to computer games such as Candy Crush at an early age have a tendency to turn perilous and are generally late in achieving their developmental milestones. Thus, spending all the time playing computer games may hinder the overall development of children. However, with adequate measures, these negative effects can be reversed. Firstly, the family or child’s guardian should pique their interest in outdoor activities by planning picnics or playing games with them. Secondly, school authorities should encourage them to play interactive sports or engage in other creative activities like painting and music. They may also organize trekking or hiking trips so that children can learn to appreciate nature. Also, parents may set strict schedules for children to play computer games or may reward them with computer playtime when they do something worthy In conclusion, computer games may be harmful, but with proper control and care, their bad influence can be minimized. However, this can be done only with the help of both the parents and the school staff.
With the advancement of information technology, computers have become accessible to everyone, making computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
more convenient and
readily
available, even for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
However
, there are several adverse effects of its overuse, which will
be discussed
in this essay in detail with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
solutions to mitigate their impact.

Overplaying computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
can be quite detrimental to the physical growth of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. Long-term entertainment with such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them prone to weak eyesight and obesity, leading to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
serious complications.
Moreover
, it
also
affects their psychological development, making them antisocial, violent or depressive.
For instance
, a study by U. K
Possible spelling mistake. 'Paediatric' is British English.
Paediatric
Association revealed that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who
are introduced
to computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
such as Candy Crush at an early age have a tendency to turn perilous and are
generally
late in achieving their developmental milestones.
Thus
, spending all the time playing computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
may hinder the
overall
development of children.

However
, with adequate measures, these
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects can
be reversed
.
Firstly
, the family or child’s guardian should pique their interest in outdoor activities by planning picnics or playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
with them.
Secondly
, school authorities should encourage them to play interactive sports or engage in other creative activities like painting and music. They may
also
organize trekking or hiking trips
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can learn to appreciate nature.
Also
, parents may set strict schedules for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to play computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
or may reward them with computer playtime when they do something worthy

In conclusion
, computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
may be harmful,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
with proper control and care, their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
influence can
be minimized
.
However
, this can
be done
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of both the parents and the school staff.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays many people have access to computers on a wide basis and a large number of children play computer games. What are the negative impacts of playing computer games and what can be done to minimize the bad effects? v. 9

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
275 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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