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TPO6 Q3The woman expresses her opinion about the proposal that her friend Tim made in his letter to the newspaper. State her opinion about his proposal and explain the reasons she gives for her opinion. v.1

TPO6 Q3The woman expresses her opinion about the proposal that her friend Tim made in his letter to the newspaper. State her opinion about his proposal and explain the reasons she gives for her opinion. v. 1
Clothing is one of the highest growing industries in today's world. Few specimens mention that an individual's culture and behaviour can be presumed basis their choice of clothes. I am a firm believer of the same and completely agree with the fact. The following 2 paragraphs will reason my belief. Firstly, the concept of clothing has far moved on from only covering the body. Especially in a country like India, where every state has a traditional outfit. It's easy to identify their culture from the clothes they wear. For example, a Saree wearing female will represent her culture from her Maharashtrian / Bengali origin. Whereas a man wearing a piece of cloth around his waist would be from the Southern part of India Secondly, while it's slightly shallow, someone wearing shabby clothing will be weighed in on the other side compared to someone whose clothes are well ironed and neatly chosen in combination. However, character can be judged basis their choice of clothing. Furthermore, wearing an abstract combination over a subtle one builds an odd perspective in the spectator. For example, a person walking into a club wearing sneakers compared to slippers you're considered to be someone decent and not someone who doesn't deserve to be at the place. To conclude the essay, were living in the dawn of the 21st century where your choice of clothing is what defines you as a person than your speech does and it's imperative that one dresses up well to give a fair idea of where they belong from.
Clothing is one of the highest growing industries in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's world. Few specimens mention that an individual's culture and
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
can
be presumed
basis their choice of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
. I am a firm believer of the same and completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the fact. The following 2 paragraphs will reason my belief.

Firstly
, the concept of clothing has far
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
on from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
covering the body.
Especially
in a country like India, where every state has a traditional outfit. It's easy to identify their culture from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
they wear.
For example
, a Saree wearing female will represent her culture from her
Possible spelling mistake found.
Maharashtrian
/ Bengali origin.
“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
wearing a piece of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cloth
around his waist would be from the Southern part of
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
India


Secondly
, while it's
slightly
shallow,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
someone
wearing shabby clothing will
be weighed
in on the other side compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
someone
whose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
are well ironed and
neatly
chosen in combination.
However
, character can
be judged
basis their choice of clothing.
Furthermore
, wearing an abstract combination over a subtle one builds an odd perspective in the spectator.
For example
, a person walking into a club wearing sneakers compared to slippers you're considered to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
someone
decent and not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
someone
who doesn't deserve to be at the place.

To conclude
the essay, were living in the dawn of the 21st century where your choice of clothing is what defines you as a person than your speech does and it's imperative that one dresses up well to give a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of where they belong from.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
To learn a language is to have one more window from which to look at the world.
Chinese Proverb

IELTS essay TPO6 Q3The woman expresses her opinion about the proposal that her friend Tim made in his letter to the newspaper. State her opinion about his proposal and explain the reasons she gives for her opinion. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
256 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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