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Some people believe that all the children in school are required to learn at least one foreign language. However, others say that those who are not talented do not have to learn. What is your opinion? v.1

Some people believe that all the children in school are required to learn at least one foreign language. However, others say that those who are not talented do not have to learn. What is your opinion? v. 1
Nowadays, learning a foreign language in high school or earlier is a modern tendency, many people agree with it, but it argued that only talented pupils have to study. However, that limitation raises concerns about discrimination among people. In my opinion, it is a bad idea because every student should learn as they want. To begin with, we are coming to a global society where people can meet and communicate easily. Learning a foreign language, especially international language such as English, is a good way for us to have more opportunities to approach progressive achievements of the world. Besides, pupils study a foreign language from the beginning of school is a judicious preparation. Scientists studied that children learn language more easily than the older because they have enough time to develop language as native people and their brain can acquire a language more effectively than adults. So our children will become more confident and more active when contacting others all over the world. On the other hand, some people think there are a waste of resources when all the children learn a foreign language, they suggest there is a limit of number of children who have to. That limit of teaching only for talented students is not necessary and very unfair because everybody has the right to learn anything they want. Discrimination can cause psychological damage for children, who estimated subjectively, have no talent. There are some kids, whose talents are familiar with foreign languages but there are others, whose talents are in other fields. All they need to do are spend more time and they will achieve certain results. To sum up, we should let all the children learn second language in school whether they have talent or not. It is necessary for our children to connect with foreigner and that is the first step for our country to integrate with other countries in the world.
Nowadays, learning a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
in high school or earlier is a modern tendency,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with it,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it argued that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
talented pupils
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
study.
However
, that limitation raises concerns about discrimination among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. In my opinion, it is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
every student should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
as they want.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, we are coming to a global society where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
and communicate
easily
. Learning a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
,
especially
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
such as English, is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way for us to have more opportunities to approach progressive achievements of the world.
Besides
, pupils study a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
from the beginning of school is a judicious preparation. Scientists studied that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
more
easily
than the older
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
time to develop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
as native
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and their brain can acquire a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
more
effectively
than adults.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will become more confident and more active when contacting others all over the world.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
there are a waste of resources when all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
, they suggest there is a limit of number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
. That limit of teaching
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for talented students is not necessary and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
unfair
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
everybody has the right to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
anything they want. Discrimination can cause psychological damage for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, who estimated
subjectively
, have no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
kids, whose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talents
are familiar with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there are others, whose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talents
are in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
fields. All they need to do are spend more
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
time and
they will achieve certain results.

To sum up, we should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
in school whether they have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
or not. It is necessary for our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to connect with foreigner and
that is
the
first
step for our country to integrate with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
countries in the world.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
39Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that all the children in school are required to learn at least one foreign language. However, others say that those who are not talented do not have to learn. What is your opinion? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
317 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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